As you might have noted from past blogs, I love crazy and whacky news. There are some of the strangest people walking this planet -- it makes you appreciate that your close relationships are a little less dramatic -- or are they?
William Baumgartner, 86, has decided to drop charges against his wife, Kelly Campbell-Baumgartner, 47, denying that she stabbed him with a fork in a food fight altercation at a local restaurant.
Another diner has stepped into the fray and come forward with information substantiating the original charge by Mr. Baumgartner. Now the Canton, Michigan, Township police and the proscecutor's office in Wayne County have decided to file new charges. A judge has also agreed that there is enough evidence to bring Mrs. Campbell-Baumgartner up on felonious assualt charges, which upon conviction would land the loving wife in the big house for up to four years.
The witness testified that "She was waving her fork at him and yelling." He also stated that "She was taking food off his plate and flinging it at him." In her rampage she apparently nicked her husband's face with the fork and drew blood. Could the food possibly have been that bad?
On the witness stand Monday the aged Baumgartner insisted , "If I am the complaintant of this I have nothing to complain about" and "If I am the victim, I have nothing to be the victim of." But Judge Michael Rerou disagreed and said the the evidence warrants a trial.
The happy couple left the courtroom holding hands.
If Mr. Baumgartner, depending on the outcome of the trial, decides to continue this arrangement or if divorce is in the cards, I have some suggestions for him as to what he should have done or should do whatever happens:
1. Rethink this May-December marriage. Thirty-nine years stretches this May-December thing almost four decades.
2. Beware of marriage when the blushing bride inserts a hyphen on the signature line of the marriage license -- to wit Campbell-Baumgartner -- way too many letters anyway.
3. When going out to dinner with a less than stable spouce, ask the maitre d to seat you at opposite ends of a long table beyond reach of sharp objects.
4. Always order soft food -- no baked potatoes or hard rolls that could be used as missiles by an upset wife.
5. Or just stay home and take your chances.
Yall have a nice day.
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