Not Without Some Thought

American Idol Is Addictive

2008-04-17T07:07:00.000-07:00

There must be some of you out there who, like I, have become addicted to watching American Idol. It really is a showcase for some really good young singers. And, of course, a number of the contestants, win or lose, have gone on to become stars. As a case in point, I predicted that Kellie Pickler from season five would do great things in country music, and she recently won three awards at the CMA's.

As to this season, last night Christy Lee Cook was eliminated from the competition. I am again predicting that she has a future in country music. With her looks and singing ability she has got to be a winner. Good luck to her.

For those who remain, David Archuletta is more than likely going to win the whole thing. Randy, Paula and Simon have been very complimentary of his talent, but of course the fans who vote will make the final decision.

My favorite is Jason Castro. Jason has a good voice and an ability to play the guitar, piano and even the ukulele as he did in his version of "Over the Rainbow." But what about his looks -- those dreadlocks on a white boy -- when have you seen that? He is laid back and really gives the impression that he doesn't even know why he has made it this far.

What about Carley Smithson? That huge tatoo on her right arm is also strange. But she is star material as well.

Good things can also be said for the remaining contestants. Again I think it is a great opportunity for young people to make something of themselves. They should be role models for the millions of young people who watch American Idol, and God knows we need some good role models.

Even though I am sure many people think that American Idol is just another one of those reality shows that add nothing to society, but I beg to differ. Sure, those people who concocted the idea have made millions of dollars from their efforts, but I think they have made a tremendous contribution, particularly to teens thoughout the country.

Bravo to American Idol -- may it last longer than two more years as predicted by Simon.

Political Junkie Likes Democrat Race

2008-03-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

The Democrat race for the presidential nomination has been exciting this year, whereas past races by both Democrats and Republicans have been a little dull.

We now have a great opportunity to go back to the way political conventions were held in my younger years. Rarely did anyone have the nomination wrapped up before the convention. It was always a fight on the convention floor and usually a number of votes had to be taken before a particular candidate received enough votes for the nomination. A lot of wheeling and dealing went on and many decisions were made in so-called "smoke-filled rooms."

Those were the good old days and exciting days at that. And the 2008 Democratic Convention in Denver on August 25-28 could be a return to those days of yesteryear.

Senator Hillary Clinton said in a recent interview that she was prepared to take the nomination fight all the way to the convention floor as she and Senator Barack Obama will neither have reached the magic number of delegates to be nominated prior to the convention.

Senator Obama is leading Clinton by about 157 pledged delegates and there is apparently no way she can overcome this lead even though she wins the Pennsylvania primary and some of the remaining states like North Carolina and others. Of course you have the votes of the "super delegates" who are not pledged for either -- there will be a fight for those.

And then there is the big fight about seating the delegates from Florida and Michigan since those states' voters have been disenfranchised because the officials who set the primaries in those states defied the rules of the Democrat Party and moved the dates of the primaries. Both Clinton and Obama agreed to the actions of the party and did not campaign in those states. Now Hillary wants to change the rules and have those delegates seated.

Of course there are problems with Senator Clinton lying about being under enemy fire as she deplaned in Bosnia. Turns out that that was a fabrication to which she has now admitted. There are some other untruths that are surfacing for which she has not repented.

Senator Obama has had some difficulties in explaining his association with his pastor, the Reverend Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr., who has made some very nasty statements about the United States. Then you have his endorsement by Louis Farrakhan.

There are other problems that both of these candidates have brought upon themselves, but Obama's campaign seems to be a better executed plan. President Bill Clinton has placed his foot in his mouth more than once thus hurting Hilliary with some voters.

But at this point I am hoping and praying that August in Denver is going to be hot, and I don't mean the weather. I yearn for one of those heated battles of days gone by -- that will be the epitome of political entertainment. I can look on with glee in that I really don't have a dog in that hunt.

Why Not Acupuncture

2008-03-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when one has some sort of painful malady he or she will resort to most anything for a little relief. Now I am not advocating voodoo, witch doctors or the like, but acupuncture has been practiced by Chinese physicians for several thousand years. It must be safe -- haven't heard of anyone dying from the procedure. The one main problem is that these practitioners do not accept Blue Cross/Blue Shield.

Anyway, I was in Winston-Salem last week during spring break, and Amanda made me an appointment with Sarah Girard L.Ac., Dipl.Ac. (NCCAOM) -- that's what her card says, but I don't know what those letters mean.

Ms Girard specializes in acupuncture, moxibustion, cupping and gua sha. I'm sure I got the acupuncture and maybe the cupping -- moxibustion sounds like it may be a little bodily invasive, and who knows what gua sha is -- sounds like number 26 column A on the Chinese menu.

For those of you who are not familiar with acupuncture, Chi, the vital force or energy, circulates thoughout the body along fourteen major channels called "meridians." I think that the idea is to keep the Chi in balance in the workings of the bodily organs and systems which require prodigious amounts of energy.

I believe that Ms Girard found my liver and lungs to be a little out of balance, but when she got though sticking my body with a bunch of tiny stainless steel (hopefully sterile) needles my Chi got all ok. The Chi is stimulated when the needles are placed in the "acupoints." She left me for probably a half an hour looking like a pin cushion. Upon her return she removed all of the needles (at least she thought she did) and told me to rest until I felt like getting up. I got up, put on my shoes, go out the door to face a full length mirror, run my fingers though my hair and shazam there was one of those needles sticking right out of the top of my head. Ms Girard was a little embarassed at not completing her procedure. Let me not mislead you, Sarah was extremely nice, and I am sure she is good at what she does. I did feel a little relaxed, but the pain was still there -- what does one expect from one visit? She is trying to find me a practitioner in the Memphis area. I think I would be more comfortable if my next acupuncturist as least has a Chinese name.

I'm glad I did it just for the experience. I wonder if they teach acupuncture at the DeSoto campus of North West -- I need a new job.

CELTIC WOMAN

2008-03-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

Well, I am back for a couple of posts, and then I will probably disappear once again for a while. The problem is that I have really been a little to busy, and to be perfectly honest, I have run out of material -- I must lead a dull life.

To the subject at hand.

My wonderful daughters and sons-in-law apparently were in a quandry as to what to get me last Christmas. They became aware that Celtic Woman was in concert at the FedEx Forum in February. They also were aware of how much I love these girls and their music.

I'm sure some of you are probably wondering who is this group called Celtic Woman? If you are you must not watch public television because many times when there is a fundraiser the station airs one of the Celtic Woman concerts. WTOK in Memphis loves to run the shows. Lots of pledges must come in when these girls appear.

There are usually four or five of the singers plus a girl who is an accomplished fiddler -- some would call her a violinist, but she in my book is a fiddler. Their music tends to be Irish or Celtic in nature, but they do sing some other old standards. And I might add that none of them are hard to look at either.

So Melinda and I motor down to the Forum, sit in our great seats and enjoy a wonderful concert I will not soon forget. It is about as close as I will get to Ireland -- hint, hint -- next Christmas.

Thanks so much to Amanda, Laurette, Rob and Travis -- you could not have pleased me more.

Auld Lang Syne

2007-12-28T10:40:00.001-08:00

I've gotten a little carried away with this Auld Lang Syne. Since I made a typo on "rendition" on the previous post, I felt I needed to give you another rendition. Enjoy!

Auld Lang Syne

2007-12-28T10:21:00.001-08:00

This is a little different redition of Auld Lang Syne. Enjoy!

A Happy And Healthy New Year To All

2007-12-28T08:20:00.000-08:00

I suppose this will be my last post until 2008 rolls around. Can you believe that in just three days we will start a brand new year? As usual it will take two or three weeks before I stop using 2007 on my checks.

Some of the family will be present in the Clark mansion for New Years Day. I expect to have Wallie, Manny, Travis and Mary Peyton as Rob will go back to Winston-Salem on Sunday. We will miss him and wish that he could be here to help us celebrate.

The usual fare will be on the dining table -- pork roast, blackeyed peas, sweet potatoes, cabbage and probably some other goodies I may decide to have. Traditionally, one should have hog jowl, but I'm not much into that part of the pig and will substitute the pork roast. Blackeyed peas are a must as they are said to bring good luck in the new year. Something green, some say, improves the finances, so I hope that the cabbage is green enough for that.

I usually fall asleep on New Years Eve before the old clock tolls midnight. But maybe this year I can at least watch the ball drop in Times Square in New York which, of course, is 11:00 our time. Does that count?

Who knows what 2008 will bring for any of us -- my guess is that it is a good thing that we don't know -- takes all of the fun out of living.

There is so much turmoil here and abroad that one can only hope and pray that somehow we can have peace on the planet. But that is probably asking too much -- it has never happened and unlikely to happen in this new year. We can continue to pray and maybe each one of us can make some kind of difference in the hearts of our brothers and sisters who walk this old Earth.

My wish for each of you is that the new year will bring to you the spiritual joy that you may be seeking and God will bless you and your loved ones.

I'm not much of a singer, and you are fortunate there is no sound to this post (I don't know how to do that), but I would like to leave you with this to sing in your own melodious tones:

Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

and never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

and days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,

for auld lang syne,

we'll take a cup of kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

and never brought to mind?

Sould auld acquaintance be forgot

and days of auld lang syne?

And here's a hand, my trusty friend

And gie's a hand o' thine

We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet

For auld lang syne.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays To All

2007-12-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

I have been remiss in my postings, but I have been rather busy. As I have said before, I hate it when a job stands in the way of things you had rather do.

Christmas is almost upon us now, and I really can't wait. It is a great time of the year, and one where we sometimes forget the spiritual significance among all of the packages, decorated trees and all of the other stuff that makes the season so much fun.

My tree looks great, if I do say so myself. Melinda does not do decorating, so if it were left up to her one would think that Scrooge lives at our house. But everything is all set for my little Mary Peyton Marble to come in like a storm on the 18th. I can see her toys and playthings all scattered throughout the house, but one overlooks these things for a precious granddaughter.

Laurette and Travis will join Amanda, Mary Peyton, Rob, Melinda and me at the Walters' house in Aberdeen on the 21st, and we will have our Christmas with all of the rest of the Walters clan on the 23rd. They will go their separate ways to celebrate Christmas day with others of their family members -- the Marbles to Jackson, Mississippi, and the Wolfes to Jackson, Tennessee. But the great thing is that they will all be back in Olive Branch for the big Liberty Bowl celebration in Memphis. I do hope that the Dawgs take a little bite out of the University of Central Florida.

I do wish for all of you a very, very Merry Christmas and happiness for the rest of the holiday season. I'm going to make a resolution for the new year that I will try to keep up with my blogging -- I know that there are absolutely thousands out there who have missed me -- one for sure. Merry Christmas Marty -- should I have put a comma there?

Happy Thanksgiving To All

2007-11-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Have not blogged much lately -- work is getting to where it interfers with the fun stuff.

I did want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and hope that you are all safe as you may be going to visit family and friends.

We will spend Thursday with Laurette's inlaws in Jackson, TN, and return to Olive Branch before leaving early Friday morning to motor to Starkvegas and the Egg Bowl.

I am a little nervous about this game. One never knows what will happen when these two teams get together, and the Dawgs have so much riding on it. Of course, this is Ole Miss' bowl game as the Rebels' record will keep them from making another football trip this year.

Then there is the distraction of the "Pillowgate" affair. Have you been reading about this? What a strange thing to happen and apparently happen twice over the season -- once in Montgomery, Alabama, and once in Tupelo. There is a picture of the marquee at the Holiday Inn Express (see Kyle Veasey's blog in Clarion-Ledger) in Starkville that reads, "Secured Clocks and Pillows." Hope that doesn't make the Rebels mad as they drive into town -- they seem to play better when they are mad.

Well, anyway it should be a good game and we can all wish for a solid MSU victory and secure a bowl bid for the Dawgs. I would like the Liberty Bowl since I live in the Memphis area. We will see.

Hope to see some of you there -- if not have a joyous holiday.

Go DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Back

2007-11-12T11:23:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I have posted anything, but after my trip to Starkville this past weekend, I thought it was time to say something -- GO DAWGS!!

A glorious weekend unless you were wearing some Crimson Tide color (whatever color that is since it ranges from red to maroon).

The greatest and most expensive coach in college football brings a herd of elephants to Starkvegas to play the lowly Dawgs. Have you ever seen an elephant with its tail between its legs? That is the visual you need to think of as a whole bunch of elephants go back to Tuscaloosa and other points in Alabama. It was a sight to see.

If you have not thought about it, we are the best team in Alabama because of wins over Alabama, Auburn and UAB. We are also the defacto Iron Bowl champ because we beat both of the participants.

I just can't help but think that our beloved Dawgs are on the verge of being a really good team -- at least they play hard. We've got a good chance against Arkansas and Ole Miss. Let's hope the Bulldogs can keep up their intensity.

The Razorbacks and Rebels stand a good chance of getting Croomed (a new verb in all of our vocabularies).

GO DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trinity Vs Millsap

2007-10-29T09:14:00.001-07:00

For those of you college football fans who have not seen this, this is worth taking a look. Can you believe all of these laterals took place without a penalty -- holding or something?

Maybe Coach O should take add this to the Ole Miss playbook.

Senator Clinton Takes Swipe At Mississippi

2007-10-26T09:11:00.000-07:00

Hillary Clinton, the current front-runner in the Democrat Party race for the presidency, apparently inserted her foot in her mouth in a recent newspaper interview while campaigning in Iowa.

She chastised both Iowa and Mississippi for never having elected a woman governor, senator or member of congress. Nothing especially wrong with that statement, but she went on to say, "I think Iowa poses a special burden or special obstacle to me because when you look at the numbers, how can Iowa be ranked with Mississippi?" Just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Clinton?

The Democrat candidate added, "That's not what I see. That's not the quality. That's not communitarianism. That's not the openness I see in Iowa." Say what?

Deemed "the smartest woman in the world" by some of her devout followers, I'm not even sure that she knows what she said. Read the quotes again and see if you can figure it out. I would challenge her to give a definition of communitarianism. It is defined: advocate of collective way of living: member or supporter of a collectivist or cooperative community or system. I'll let you decide what she is advocating if she truly understands. Sounds like a little of that "it takes a village" crap is creaping back into her thought processes.

Mississippi Republican Congressman Chip Pickering labeled the remarks, "inappropriate, inaccurate and unnecessary." "She was responding to a weakness of hers by trying to use a stereotype of Mississippi in contrast of what she thinks of Iowa," he added.

Republican Party Chairman Jim Herring said the comments were "calculated on her part to try and use Mississippi as some sort of ploy to get votes in Iowa."

It is certainly smart politics to go to one state and criticize another. I suppose she thinks that we are unable to read, as well.

Even though she apologized by phone on Tuesday to Senator Trent Lott, her remarks still stand as an indication of her political philosophies and feelings toward Mississippi and Mississippians. My question is, "Who really gives a rat's butt?" One might also remind American voters how the state of Arkansas progressed by leaps and bounds under hers and Bill's leadership. They really jumped to the front of the line in almost all categories when compared with other states.

Political experts and others who have one ounce of political savvy know that Senator Clinton knows she stands a snowball's chance in hell of carrying the Magnolia State in 2008. Mississippians haven't voted for a Democrat presidential candidate since Jimmy Carter carried the state in 1976 -- and history shows that was a gigantic mistake.

So Ms Clinton, take your best shots at Mississippi and while you are at it, see if you can insult the citizens of other states as well -- that is smart politics.

Hoops On The Horizon

2007-10-24T13:25:00.000-07:00

Roundball fans need to get set for another exciting season to begin soon, and there is plenty of basketball action scheduled for the Hump.

Clemson, Miami and Missouri are some rare, if ever, visitors to the Dawg House along with Georgia, Kentucky and Tennessee from the SEC East Division. The usual round robin of home and away with the SEC West rounds out the 2008 campaign.

It all starts with tipoff on Saturday, November 3rd, against the Patriots from the University of the Cumberlands from Williamsburg, KY (the basketball equivalent of Gardner-Webb). But let us not get cocky and overlook any team this year. The old cliche of playing them one at a time should be drilled into this squad from the get go. As an aside, the Patriots' colors are also maroon and white.

Basketball media days begin today (Wednesday) in Birmingham with the Dawg's time before the writers from 9 to 11 tomorrow. In attendance for the Bulldogs will be coaches Rick Stansbury and Sharon Fanning. They will bring with them Jamont Gordon, Charles Rhodes, Marneshia Richard and Imesia Jackson.

A tacky aside -- if some of you ladies are expecting twins, you might want to consider Marneshia and Imesia as possible names to honor the Lady Dawg players -- or maybe not.

The Boy Dawgs are coming off a season as SEC West Division Champions and a run to the NIT semifinals. Actually only Arkansas should stand in the way of an SEC West repeat in 2008.

Returning from the 2007 campaign are Charles Rhodes, Jamont Gordon, Jarvis Varnado, Ben Hansbrough and Barry Stewart. Redshirt Phil Turner and transfer Brian Johnson have been through one year of practice with the Bulldogs and should contribute off the bench.

Freshmen Kodi Augustus, Ravern Johnson and Riley Benock can all shoot from downtown Starkville. Elgin Bailey (name remind you of a great BB player?) is big and impressive.

SportProjections.com preseason ranking picks the Dawgs at #20 and says, "This is a strong team that should return everybody. They look to be the best of the SEC West." Don't know when this was written, but we know that everybody didn't return -- some opted to leave and some were opted to leave.

Rivals.com named Jamont Gordon as the top point guard in the country and lists Charles Rhodes as the 13th best power foward. Good kudos guys but don't read your press clippings.

Joel Welser of collegehoops.net calls Stansbury's squad, "A deep and very talented team." He goes on to say "anything but another trip (to NCAA Tourney) in 2008 will be disappointing." You got that right. Welser adds that Gordon, Steward and Hansbrough are the "who to watch" guys.

But we all know that all of this stuff in print is not worth a tinker's dam -- performance is what counts -- you got to have a heap more W's than L's.

Continuing on with the cliches, the Dawgs have a long road to hoe, but barring any kind of misfortune, they should make all of us Dawg fans proud and make the ole Hump rock.

Go Dawgs!!!!!!!!!!

A Few Notes On The World Series

2007-10-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

My prediction, for what it is worth, is the Sox in six. I have mixed emotions about the Series because of one particular player for Boston, even though, being a Yankee fan, I have an intense dislike for the Red Sox.

A sports columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram put it this way, "I have no doubt Boston will win the Series, but I have my doubts."

Home field is definitely an advantage for Boston, and who knows how the long layoff will effect the Rockies -- remains to be seen.

A great story written by Rick Cleveland in this morning's Clarion Ledger is recommended reading to baseball fans in general and particularly those of State and Ole Miss.

Cleveland sets up a senario of a matchup between former Mississippi State Bulldog great Jonathan Papelbon coming to the mound in relief to face pinch hitter Seth Adams, former Rebel. The game is on the line.

Rick goes on to dub Papelbon as the best relief pitcher in baseball and describes the actual senario happening in the 2003 Southeastern Conference Tournament in Hoover. Jonathan came in in relief to face pinch hitter Smith. Papelbon went right after Smith, not wasting any pitches and got two straight strikes. Smith fouled off the 3rd pitch and hit a looping single on the 4th to tie the game. State did go on to with the game in extra innings on Thomas Berkley's homer in the 12th. Papelbon retired Smith the other two times he faced him in their college careers, both on ground-ball outs.

The matchup would be worth watching and would bring a lot of Mississippi interest to the Series.

I have no doubt Boston will win, but I have my doubts.

Wear Your Broccoli?

2007-10-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

As one of the purposes of this blog is to inform the hundreds or even thousands who read it, this post is for those who worship the sun and must have that perfect tan. Up to now because of the scare of skin cancer caused by those ultraviolet rays of the big hot yellow ball, tanees have been prone to pile on sunscreen or sunblock with an SPF rating sometimes approaching their IQ's. Take that statement however you choose. Some don't use any sunblock and have no IQ's.

Yo momma probably told you over and over to eat your broccoli, but here comes along a study by a team of Johns Hopkins' scientists who say it is better to rub on the dark green veggie than to eat it. Specifically, the researchers say that the damaging effects of UV rays can best be reduced by the wearing of a topical solution containing an extract from broccoli sprouts.

Apparently what happens chemically is that the SPF creams only attempt to block the UV radiation whereas the broccoli solution works within the skin cells boosting the protective enzymes that defend the skin against many aspects of the sun's rays. The protectiveness of the green stuff also outlasts sunblockers, and in some cases was effective days after application.

Six human (what else would they use?) subjects participated in the broccoli research, and the results proved to be more successful than sunscreens but varied on different individuals. The researchers deemed those variances were due to genetic differences, dietary habits, etc. It all boils down to more study is required.

But in the meantime in planning for the next tanning season keep this in mind (why wait for the scientists to get it all figured out?) -- you will need some broccoli, a blender and some liquid of your choice. Swirl it around until it is spreadable and not likely to cake on the skin. Apply liberally to the exposed parts of the body, and you are set to go. Remember that this goo can last for days.

After your thorough application, you may be mistaken for Kermit, the Hulk or the Jolly Green Giant, but just laugh at your detractors, because you know you are protected. It may not be a bad idea to ingest some of the broccoli as well -- you will be protected from the inside out and outside in. Keep some in your cooler for snacks as you lie under those burning rays.

For those of you who have no inclination of going the broccoli route, I feel you need some directions as to dosage of the SPF numbered lotion you have selected. This is calculated by using a formula for body surface area and then subtracting the area that is uncovered. Make sense?

Provided one assumes an average female adult build of 5'4" in height, and weight of 125 pounds with a waist of 24", the rule of thumb is the application of 25 grams evenly to the uncovered body parts. This assumption is based on the idea that the swimsuit is of a rather modest cut, but, of course, the skimpier suits call for an increase in the amount of lotion. If your swimwear has bloomers, you will need a lot less of the sunblocker. Then too, you must adjust if your measurements differ from any or all of the averages above. This has gotten way to complicated.

Just stay covered up and buy yourself some of that stuff that turns your skin sort of an orange color, and you won't have to wait 'til summer.

Oops!

2007-10-22T13:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry! On the preceeding post I should have written "Wintley" Phipps -- it's tough getting old.

Amazing Grace History/

2007-10-22T12:50:00.001-07:00

For those of you who have never seen this video, I would like to post it here for your enjoyment.

Winton Phipps is a fantastic singer, and you who are pianists know what he is talking about with the black notes.

Enjoy!

John Stossel To Grill Big Al Gore

2007-10-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

If you are looking for something to watch on TV tonight (Friday) tune to ABC's 20/20 at 7:00 Central.

I have seen some promos on the show, and co-host John Stossel says that he is going to ask some tough questions of Al Gore on the inconsistencies and downright falsehoods found in An Inconvenient Truth and other of his global warming theories.

This thing is getting out of hand in that Gore is now stating that the debate is over, and all scientists agree with him. This is an outright lie. Many scientists disagree, but they are afraid to come forward because this thing has become so political they are afraid of losing grants and maybe even their university jobs.

Stossel, who is the science correspondent for ABC News, says that statements made by Gore and his cronies about the polar bears dieing off because of melting ice caps is absolutely untrue, and, in fact, the population is actually increasing. He points out other claims that are either untrue or Gore fails to tell the whole story, only using the facts that support his contentions.

No one denies that the earth is getting warmer, but is cyclical or is man the sole contributor? As I pointed out in a blog back in June, Neptune is also getting warmer -- has man caused that -- I doubt it.

As you have probably gathered, I do not appreciate Al Gore or the horse he rode in on -- he is a fake who is garnering a fortune at the expense of others.

There, I have gotten on my soapbox again, but I detest hypocracy and lying and those who are guilty of the same.

Eaux Must Geaux!

2007-10-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

Just saw this on an Ole Miss person's post on a blog. I couldn't pass up passing it on to all my Dawg friends.

Eaux must Geaux -- apparently a reference to his coonass heritage. We need to see some bumper stickers. Come on Rebel fans.

Remember those "O" stickers that were like President Bush's "W" stickers -- where have those gone -- don't see them anymore.

Don't you just love it when there is turmoil in Hoddy Toddy heaven?

Geaux Dawgs!!!

Rock And Roll Giant To Get His Day

2007-10-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

Ellas Otha Bates (78) aka Ellas O. B. McDaniel and better known in the music world as Bo Diddley will return to his hometown of McComb, Mississippi, on November 2-3 to be honored with a marker on the Mississippi Blues Trail.

The Dawgs have an open date that weekend, so there is no excuse for the likes of Travis Wolfe, who is prone to attend any music festival, not to attend the event. What could be more fun than a weekend in McComb? You could even have a bite to eat at the famed Dinner Bell Restaurant featuring a roundtable help yourself variety of country cooking favorites.

Back to Diddley -- he took the name from the "diddley bow", a one-stringed African instrument. In his performances he primarily used a rectangular-bodied Gretsch. Along with the Gretsch, nicknamed "The Twang Machine", Diddley used similar-shaped guitars made for him by other manufactures.

Bo Diddley played a rhumba-like beat which has been described as similar to the "hambone." For those of you who have never seen one do the hambone, you have missed out on a real treat. It brings back memories of my younger years.

"I've Got Spurs That Jingle, Jangle, Jingle", a song by Gene Autry, was the source of what is known as the "Bo Diddley beat." Diddley developed the beat while trying to play the Autry hit.

For you music buffs, the Bo Diddley beat can be counted out as a two-bar phrase:

One and two and three and four and one and two and three and four and -- the bolded counts are the clave rhythm. His sound cannot be properly created without tuning the guitar: 1st string E 329.6; 2nd string B 246.9; 3rd string G sharp 207.6; 4th string E 164.8; 5th string A 110.0; and 6th string E 82.4. Wow!

Those of you who might think that I understand what I have written in the above paragraph are utterly and completely wrong -- I do not have the foggiest idea what all of that means. It is all courtesy of Wikipedia, and if you need more information, you can read the 8 pages for yourself.

Like his music or not, his beat shows up in the songs of Elvis Presley, U2, The Smiths, Johnnie Otis, George Michael, The Strangeloves and BowWowWow, Guns N' Roses, David Bowie and the Stooges to name a few (courtesy of Wikipedia). Don't ask me who all of these people are -- I have heard some of the music by these artists, and I do vaguely remember the likes of "Willie and the Hand Jive" (Otis), "His Latest Flame" (Presley), "How Soon Is Now" (The Smiths) and "Faith" (George Michael), but probably Elvis is the only one I could pick out of a crowd.

So let's all meet in McComb and tailgate to the music of Bo Diddley.

As an aside -- a young man from Meridian, Mississippi, attended, along with his father, a Bo Diddley concert and later begged his dad to help him build a two-sided amp just like the one he had seen that Diddley built for himself. And as they say, the rest is history and Peavey Electronics was born. Hartley Peavey, a 1965 graduate of Mississippi State University, is known in the music business as a real genius and a man ahead of his time in developing and producing musical instruments. Go State! We Dawg folks even honored him in 2004 by granting him an honorary doctorate in creating and performing arts. Go Dawgs!

Has Nobel Peace Prize Become A Joke?

2007-10-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

I prefer a blog with humor rather than one on politics (albeit politics is mostly laughable), but sometimes I must get things off my chest and point out obvious wrongs in today's world, as I see them. I am really bothered by this latest award to Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.

As many of you know the Nobel awards, of which there are five, were set up by Swedish industralist and inventor, Alfred Nobel. Nobel never revealed his reasoning for establishing the Peace Prize to accompany those awards for chemistry, physics and others, but the speculation is that it was remorse for his inventions of dynamite and ballistite -- instruments of war.

According to Nobel's will, the Peace Prize would be awarded "to the person who shall have done the most or best work for fraternity between the nations, for the abolition or reduction of armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."

You be judge on the following examples of Nobel Peace Prize winners:

James Earl (Jimmy) Carter, 39th President of the United States, received the honor in 2002. Carter, suffering from by all accounts a miserably failed Presidency, has desparately tried to secure his place in history as a great diplomat. His efforts have many times run counter to and interfered with the policies of administrations since his time in office. It it my thinking that he should be nominated for the "Senility" award.

Kofi Anan, former Secretary-General of the United Nations (a joke in itself), was a co-conspirator with his son, Kojo, in the UN Oil-for-Food program from which they are accused of benefiting to the tune of millions of dollars of graft in their pockets. Anan was awarded the coveted prize in 2001.

Yasser Arafat received the Peace Prize in 1994. A leader of the Palestinians against Israel, Arafat was accused of associations with Hamas and other terrorist organizations. He was also accused, after a World Bank audit, of diverting almost a billion dollars in public funds to a personal bank account.

Then we come to Big Al Gore -- recipient of the famed honor in 2007. Gore's accomplishments in the field of global warming are the backbone of his claim to fame -- dubious as they are. He is an Academy-Award winner for his documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth" and an Emmy-winner for a TV network, "Current TV", which he was instrumental in forming. He is also on the board of Google -- supposedly a non-political entity -- which has recently become involved in some rather far left leanings. According to a ruling by an English judge, "An Inconvenient Truth" must be preceeded by a disclaimer when shown to school children because of a number of "untruths" in the film.

With his strong advocacy of the dangers of global warming, Gore has found a way to turn this pulpit into pocket change in that he receives $100,000.00 for each engagement on the speaking circuit. This is obscene.

Others could be mentioned as questionable Peace Prize winners, but I think that the point is made that the awards have turned completely away from what Nobel envisioned -- a political agenda and/or securing monetary wealth are the basis for and potential results of the prize and Nobel truly wanted to award someone for efforts toward world peace -- what a shame.

My whole problem with all of this is HYPOCRACY! Why cannot most Americans see though this sham? Do we not know what is happening here? I am dismayed at how people latch on to a public individual and completely ignore what these people are doing.

Well, enough of that from my soapbox. I have said some of what I wanted to say and let it fall wherever it may. Thanks for indulging me.

North Carolina Bound

2007-10-09T07:06:00.000-07:00

I probably will be absent from the blog world for the next few days as Melinda and I head to Winston-Salem to visit with Amanda, Rob and especially Mary Peyton -- the prettiest and smartest granddaughter anyone ever had.

Amanda has promised to keep me busy while I am there. As usual during our visits I will be painting, building, tearing down, etc. If I can find time maybe she will let me check all of my favorite blogs and maybe, just maybe post one.

For you football fans Rob has invited me to go to a Wake Forest game Thursday night. I will be wearing my Demon Deacon cap and cheering loudly for the black and gold.

We unfortunately will miss the Dawg/Volunteer game Saturday, but one must have his priorities. Who would you pick to see -- Philip (one or two l's, I never know) Fulmer or Mary Peyton Marble?

Yall wish us luck and pray for our safe journey. See you on Tuesday, if not before.

Yankees Bow Out Early

2007-10-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

Travis and Caleb probably thought that I would not write this post today. I had high hopes for the Yanks, but all of those were dashed last night with a 6-4 win by the Indians. Cleveland deserved to win because, quite frankly, New York did not perform like a Yankee team.

Now it remains to be seen what the Yanks will look like next year as a team. Will Torre be back as manager? What about A-Rod, Rivera, Posada, Pettitte and Clemens? Will they and others opt to don colors other that the famed pinstripes in 2008? It all remains to be seen and really falls in the lap of one man -- George Steinbrenner. I think it is a safe bet to say that New York will be a different team next year.

Steinbrenner has already said that an early out for the Yankees this year would result in Torre's departure. Steinbrenner is a first-class idiot, but he does control the purse and the team.

If, in fact, Torre does involuntarily leave, who will manage -- Don Mattingly and Joe Girardi appear to be the leading candidates, but others are waiting in the wings. Only time will tell.

"This has been a great 12 years. Whatever the hell happens from here on out, I'll look back on these 12 years with great, great pleasure," the 67-year-old Torre said, his voice quavering as he tried to keep from choking up. "The 12 years just felt like they were 10 minutes long, to be honest with you," he added.

Love or hate the Yankees, Joe Torre is a class act. George Steinbrenner is an ass act.

Get some rest those of you who will remain on the New York roster, and whoever is at the helm, because more than likely baseball will play another season in 2008 and the Yanks will be in the thick of things.

Observations At The Wolfchase Galleria

2007-10-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

Saturday and Sunday I had the pleasure (?) of manning a booth showcasing Collierville Winnelson's plumbing fixtures. I can't say that it was a huge success, but I was able to talk with a few people who were either building or remodeling.

The main thing is that people who come to the mall are either teeny boppers, food court buffs or shopping for panties at Victoria's Secret or other items at Macy's or the like, and the last thing on their minds is a faucet.

As those of you who read this blog know, I am an avid people watcher and chronicler of their dress and actions. Most of my people gazing is done at WalMart, but I welcomed the opportunity of perhaps watching a little different crowd, but I found out there were some people who left WalMart and came to the Galleria.

On to my observations of mall patrons and list of don'ts for those who frequent public places:

1. Just because it comes in your size doesn't mean you have to wear it.

2. High heels are not compatible with mall shopping. If one has a problem walking anyway, heels are not going to improve the malady. For some women and girls it looks as if they are desperately trying to wall downhill against a stiff headwind. I also might caution about color -- a black dress with a bright, bright yellow 4" belt and matching heels one or two sizes too large is not very attractive, but it will make you stand out in a crowd.

3. For those men who feel they must cover a bald head with a toupee -- save your money and buy a good one. One rug I noticed looked as if it needed a chin strap. Along that same line, a radical comb over is a very obvious attempt to cover baldness -- bite the bullet and accept how God intended you to look.

4. If you are naturally ugly, do not try and enhance it. You should try to improve your looks and not go in the other direction.

5. Large bodies should not be covered in tight-fitting clothes. This, of course, points out the problem even more. Also, if you are a "big-boned" person, there is nothing for you at Victoria's Secret. Simply pass on by with a smile and shop at the place for "mature figures."

6. Men with large bellies should invest in longer t-shirts. And by all means do not squeeze into size 28 pants that are girted below the protrusion.

7. Is there a denim paint? One girl had obviously found some because there was no way on God's green earth she could have pulled on those denim shorts.

8. Large rings and other metal objects in noses and other exposed parts of a body should relegate those who sport them to the jungles of South America -- they should be more comfortable with people who do the same.

9. The Elvis look is out -- particularly on a man who is obviously Oriental.

It is not my intention to embarass or in any way cast fun at the people mentioned above, but common sense should prevail. When I last checked mirrors were still available in this country.

Enjoy your next mall visit -- I enjoyed mine.

Beware! Cogon Is Coming

2007-10-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

Few of us who live in the South have never encountered Kudzu -- that lush, green plant that can choke a tree. Some even warn not to camp near a patch of the dreaded vine for fear of awakening completely covered by the stuff. Kudzu's only redeeming factor is that it covers and hides eyesores like tumbling down shacks and abandoned cars on Mississippi's highways and byways.

But you ain't seen nothing yet. Onto the plant scene marches Cogon grass, a highly invasive Asian native that even trumps our beloved Kudzu.

What is really frightful is that city workers in Tupelo recently discovered a patch of the tall weed in a drainage ditch on the west side of the city. This is the first sighting in the area of what is considered the world's worst weed. And here I thought that title was shared by crabgrass and nutgrass which grow in my lawn. I had better contact Beauty Lawn, my yard service and collector of $45 a month, and have them cast a watchful eye to the south. Incidentally, Beauty Lawn is something of a misnomer -- maybe to be renamed "We Tried But We Didn't Quite Make It Beautiful, But It Does Look Better Than Your Neighbor's (Larry's) Lawn Service" -- catchy but maybe too wordy.

According to John D. Byrd, Jr., research professor of weed science at State, "Cogon grass has no value as a hay crop, no value for wildlife habitat, minimal value as an ornamental, because it is so highly invasive." Byrd has been tracking the dreaded flora for several years, and says that in 1979 it was limited to 13 of Mississippi's 82 counties. Now it grows in about 60 and is headed north.

A word of warning to the Coopers and their fellow Lee County citizens -- you better pack up your stuff and get out of Dodge 'cause Cogon is there and is a spreading. Build you a house in a Kudzu patch and hope that Cogon won't see you.

Anyone spotting Cogon is asked to call the State Department of Agriculture and Commerce's Bureau of Plant Industry -- and ask for the Cogon Division, I guess. And be sure and not tarry after you report the sighting.

For those of you who are interested and would like to become Cogon hunters, it and Zoysia grass are the only two grasses in Mississippi that bloom immediately after turning green in the spring.

Seems to me that Cogon may be fodder (no pun intended) for a Japanese horror flick -- the name sure sounds right.

Some of you have never thought that my blog was very educational or informative. I would venture to say that nairy a one of you have ever heard of Cogon, and I feel just like Paul Revere must have felt when he warned the colonists that the British were coming.

I'm not riding a horse, but "Cogon is coming."

Chester A. Arthur To Get Face On Coin

2007-10-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

In 2012, the U.S. Mint will put into circulation a $1.00 gold coin bearing the face of President Chester A. Arthur. This follows the successful (?) minting several years ago of gold dollars with the likenesses of Susan B. Anthony and Sacajawea. Could the mint be wasting its time and resources on coins that are used only for change out of stamp machines at the post office?

As a side note, for those of you who do not listen to Coast to Coast A.M. on late night radio, December 31, 2012, is the date that the Mayan calendar abruptly ended pointing the way, as some believe, to a real calamity for the earth. This will be the subject for a later post.

Back to the gold dollars. I carry two of them for good luck -- one with George Washington on the obverse and the Statue of Liberty on the reverse. The other is Sacajawea bearing hers and her child's likenesses on the front and a soaring eagle on the back. Neither of these I can determine has brought me luck -- at least not good luck. But if I am ever broke and hungry, I will have two dollars for one Krystal and a small coke -- hope they will take them and not refer me to the post office for stamps.

The point is what did President Arthur do to merit this honor? He came into office as a result of the untimely death of James Garfield amid a prethoria of scandal. If this is the criteria for ones face on a gold dollar, how about one of William Jefferson Clinton with Monica Lewinsky on the reverse? That could really make the gold bucks a big hit.

Are there no other American icons whom we could celebrate? How about Bill Gates since he owns most of the dollars in this country anyway? Perhaps Sam Walton who took a small Ben Franklin five and dime in Newport, Arkansas, and turned it into the multibillion dollar mega giant WalMart -- the place where one can visit China and never leave home.

There are other American presidents who should be considered for some recognition -- Ulysses S. Grant's face on one side and a key of whiskey on the other -- Calvin Coolidge pictured on one side, and the same picture on the other with a gag in his mouth (Silent Cal for those of you who are not students of history) -- William H. Taft's picture on the obverse, and a blank on the reverse (after he was appointed Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, he wrote, "I don't remember that I was ever President.") -- Andrew Jackson's picture on one side and a parrot on the other (it was reported that Jackson's pet parrot had to be removed for swearing at the ex-president's funeral) -- and a number of other presidents deserve the face on the coin honor, but you may be getting bored with this whole dribble.

Possibilities abound from the private sector for this high honor, with their likenesses on this piece of gold -- other citizens who have contributed so, so much to this country -- the likes of Sean Penn, Danny Glover, Jesse Jackson, Madonna, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton -- you get the idea.

So I will be very excited, if we are all still here in 2012, and will rush to the post office, get some stamps out of the machine, reach for my change and hope that I get a Chester A. Arthur and not a Britney Spears.

Yankees Win 13th Straight Playoff Berth

2007-09-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

This post is mainly for Caleb, Travis and any other baseball fans who happen across this blog.

An AP story this morning says that "champaign flowed, Joe Torre cried and the Yankees whooped it up" as they clinched at least a wild-card spot and are going to the postseason playoffs for the 13th consecutive season. What other team can make that claim? Well, actually before Caleb corrects me, the Yankees' streak is one shy of tying the record-setting Atlanta Braves who made the playoffs every year from 1991-2005.

The Yanks accomplished the feat with a 12-4 victory over the Tampa Bay Devil Rays eliminating the defending AL champion Detroit Tigers. The only downer is that the Yankees are 3 games behind the Red Sox with only 4 games to play and are unlikely to win their 9th straight AL East title.

This wild-card berth sets up a possible first-round matchup with the Cleveland Indians who are the Central Division champs.

Even the wild man, George Steinbrenner, got into the celebration when he moved to the front row of his private suite so he could interact with the fans (common people) while his team was building a big lead in the game. I know that must have been a "thrill" for those fans.

Joe Torre was quoted, "This is what it is about. It was a lot of unselfishness. There were a lot of guys who played through some injuries, played though some fatigue. And, of course, Alex -- we sort of rallied around him."

There a lots and lots of things, good things, that can be said about the Yankees, both past and present, but I don't want to bring up all of that and rub this baseball dynasty in the faces of those who are fans of other teams -- maybe I just did.

I have been a Yankee fan for almost 60 years. I deserve some sort of award. How did a Southern country boy become a fan of the hated Yankees? I really don't remember -- I guess I just got caught up in the play of those Yankee greats of the 1940s.

I actually had the pleasure of going to a couple of games at the "House That Ruth Built" -- an experience that can hardly be forgotten.

World Series -- he we come!!!!!!!!!!!

An Absolute Great Weekend

2007-09-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

Well, it was a wonderful weekend -- the Dawgs won even though they didn't look very good in the second half. Ole Miss lost, and they looked really good. Auburn won, so one part of the perfect weekend was missing -- maybe next time.

Hope that the Bulldogs can get ready for the Gamecocks Saturday. It is the early game on TV, and I think about 10:30 because it is Eastern Time. Anyway I will watch and/or listen and pray for the best.

Another good thing about being at the game Saturday was that I got to visit for a few minutes with Heather and Trey, Tricia and Caleb, and of course, Laurette and Travis -- all authors of great blogs. If you haven't visited their blogs, you have missed some really funny stuff.

Melinda and I spent some time walking around campus, and even an impartial observer would have to say that State has a fantastic campus. I will put it up against any other. We also wandered over to the bookstore -- that is a great asset to the university.

When we entered the concession area where we go out into the stands we were given caps with the MSU insignia and "Skydawgs" below it. I am now officially a Skydawg -- our seats are above the sky boxes on the east side, but they are great seats right on the 50 yard line and really not too high up -- we done good when we picked those, and they didn't cost an arm and a leg.

We will not get to go back until the Alabama game because of other things we have to do. So we will miss UAB and Tennessee -- that is a bummer.

Just wanted to give a short report praising our great Mississippi State University and say hello again to Tricia, Caleb, Heather and Trey -- keep up the good work.

Shiver Me Timbers!

2007-09-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

According to a news story out of London, today is the day to "put a parrot on your shoulder, strap on a peg leg, hit the rum and start bellowing "Shiver Me Timbers" for today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

It is that day, once a year, that you can put on an eye patch, don a tricorner hat and keep on saying, "Arrrr."

Two American friends started the day as a cult joke in the 1990s, but then it really got a send off when syndicated columnist Dave Berry got into the act.

The popularity of "Pirates of the Caribbean" and performances of Johnny Depp have certainly brought a lot more people into the celebration as millions worldwide will observe the day.

One of probably the best celebrations is in Sydney, Australia, where a harbor cruise is being staged with "flagons of grog and treasure for the dandiest outfit."

I didn't dress as a buccaneer this morning -- I really don't have much pirate stuff in my closet. And I don't think there are many people in Collierville, Tennessee, (where I work) who are aware of what a big day it is. One might get some very funny looks shopping in WalMart in a pirate costume, but on the other hand I have seen stranger costumes there.

Speaking of Depp's movies, I really enjoyed the first, but the other two left a little to be desired. Apparently there is not another in the immediate future unless it is done without Orlando Bloom, or they will figure how to get him out of his 10-year exile -- oops, did I give away something to those of you who haven't seen it?

If I am ever kidnapped and cast upon a deserted island by a shipload of pirates, I would not be disappointed if they threw Keira Knightly on there as well -- she is a very lovely looking pirate.

So "Avast, me hearties!" and have a great celebration, but just sip the rum.

Who Cares? News You Might Have Missed

2007-09-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

God Is Sued

It has been reported that State Senator Ernie Chambers (D - Nebraska) has decided to go straight to the top and sue God.

Chambers says that this is an effort to stop natural disasters from befalling the world.

The suit asks for a "permanent injunction ordering the Defendant (God) to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats."

Chambers also cites that the, "Defendant directly and proximately has caused inter alia (what is this?), fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornados, pestilential plagues..."

You have to admire his use of alliteration, but this guy is a goofball.

Judgement Day could be a real thrill for him, but on the other hand God may not be able to stop laughing.

Bonds' Ball Up For Vote

Turning to the world of professional baseball, this is for Caleb, Travis and other baseball followers.

Marc Ecko, the designer of the Ecko clothing line you can leisurely shop at T. J. Maxx, has purchased the record-breaking home run ball for a figure that is just south of $1 million.

Ecko is offering to let fans choose on Vote756.com one of the following three options:

Donate it as is to the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N. Y.
Brand it with an asterick and donate it to the Hall of Fame.
Put it on a rocket, and blast it into space.

I kind of lean to the latter. Choose wisely because you are making baseball history.

Who cares?

Tennessee Coaches File For Divorce

Staying on the sports theme, Bruce Pearl, Tennessee Men's Basketball Coach, has filed for divorce from his wife, Kim, citing irreconcilable differences.

This follows the announcement in early August by Pat Summitt, Tennessee Women's Basketball Coach, that she was filing for divorce from her long-time husband.

Is this a coincidence or does it have something to do with Pearl's topless apperance at a women's basketball game and Summitt going to a men's basketball game dressed in a cheerleader's outfit -- short skirt and all?

Looks to me like hormones are running high among Tennessee coaches. If football coach Phil Fulmer is not careful he is going to get a divorce from the Volunteers.

This is not a pretty sight in my mind, but again, who cares?

A Sweet Football Weekend

2007-09-17T06:31:00.000-07:00

Let me be the first to post that is was a wonderful weekend of college football.

My favorite wins and loses happened. State wins and Tommy Tuberville loses, and it was in the same game -- could it get any sweeter?

And then later on Saturday Ole Miss makes an appearance in Nashville against the Commodores, and it is a long, long ride back to Oxford.

Coach "O", if you haven't looked at the schedule, you entertain the Florida Gators Saturday in the early game. You will need lots and lots of luck in this one -- ask Tennessee.

I was just listening to George Lapides, sports show host on WHBQ (Memphis), and he made the statement that the Rebels are the worst team in the SEC. Could it get any sweeter?

Now Dawgs, don't read your press clippings before this game on Saturday. Let us not forget the Maine game a couple of years back.

I'll be there to see the Bulldogs when they meet Gardner-Webb. Hope to see some of you there.

Go Dawgs!

Why Men Should Not Take Messages

2007-09-13T08:56:00.000-07:00

I received an e-mail this morning from my daughter, Amanda, titled "Why men should not take messages." I would post the attachment, but I am computer illiterate and do not know how to do that kind of thing. But I did want to share it with you.

The note taken by the husband and stuck to the frig said -

SOMEONE FROM THE

GYNA COLLEGES

CALLED.

THEY SAID THE

PABST BEER IS

NORMAL.

I DIDN'T EVEN

KNOW YOU LIKED

BEER.

Now, do you females really think that we are that stupid? Oh! I hear all of those "you better believe it" echoing out there in blogland.

I must take a stand for "maledom" and challenge you on this point. We may not understand all of that "female terminology" but we as a group, for the most part, can hold our own in other ways. To wit -

Males know how to get lost and never ask for directions.

Males know how to take a grocery list and bring back only two correct items.

Males know how to take out the trash, get it to the street on time while forgetting those little trashbaskets in the bathrooms.

Males know how to get at least three week's use out of sheets while the wives change them every couple of days.

Males know how to wash whites and colors at the same time thus saving water and electricity.

Males know how to burn meat on a grill.

This list could certainly go on and on, and you will probably add to the list the attributes of your significant other, but you see that males are definitely not incompetent and stupid.

Oh, by the way -

THE GYNA COLLEGES

CALLED AGAIN

TO SAY

THEY WOULD CHECK

YOUR CAR MOANS.

DOES THAT COLLEGE

DO CAR REPAIR?

Re: Previous Post

2007-09-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

For those proofreading my post, I do know how to spell "gesture" -- I got in a hurry. Please ignore any other incorrectly spelled words and grammatical errors.

Starkville To Forgive Johnny Cash?

2007-09-12T07:16:00.000-07:00

A note of thanks to Amanda Marble for alerting me to this news piece that I apparently overlooked. I always need fodder for my blog.

As a sort of prologue to this post I must express my opinion about Johnny Cash's singing -- I don't think he could carry a note in a bucket. However, it must be said that his fans are legion, and his songs are legend. Give the man his due.

That fateful night (for those of you who are too young to remember or those who just didn't give a whit) was May 11, 1965, in our beloved Starkville -- the home of the greatest university in the land.

Two stories emerge about the events of that historic night -- one told by Cash in his autobiography. He recounts that he was arrested by the Starkville police as he walked from his motel to a grocery store. Another version has him arrested as he picked flowers in some Starkville resident's yard.

Whichever story is true, and Starkville officials are leaning toward the latter, the arrest came after Johnny has attended a party at the Pi Kappa Alpha house as alluded to in the news story. Apparently the famed singer had consumed too many beverages or smoked something other than tobacco. It is alledged that he had been known to enjoy both of these sins.

Cash was a guest with room and board at the Starkville jail for that night where he admits he raised hell all night and in kicking the bars broke one of his toes. I'm sure most of my few readers have never seen the inside of said jail unless on a field trip for a sociology or criminal justice class.

"Strarkville City Jail", a song written by Cash, was a result of the incarceration. He later performed it for inmates at San Quentin -- appropriately enough.

So Starkville becomes known far and wide for the actions of its law enforcement finest -- those chosen to protect and serve.

Scheduled for November 2-4, "The Johnny Cash Flower Pickin' Festival" will include some events on the State campus. Some sort of celebration will be held at the Pike House and a couple of programs including a showing of "Walk the Line" at the amphitheater are also in the plans.

The Board of Aldermen has approved closing of downtown city streets to only pedestrian traffic, and Starkville Municipal Court Judge William Eshee will review a recommendation for a posthumous pardon for the famed singer. Judge Eshee promises a "fair and impartial" review, but chances are really good that Johnny will finally get his forgiveness.

Robbie Ward, executive director of the festival and research writer at MSU, says that plans call for a ceremony on the site of Cash's arrest. Would you suppose a brass plaque is in the offing? The Reverend Allison S. Parvin, associate pastor of the First United Methodist Church, will deliver a sermon on redemption -- appropriate jesture. Ward also says a downtown concert honoring Cash's music and a sing-along of "Starkville City Jail" will be on the program.

Gosh! I am really getting excited about this. I'll bet Travis Wolfe will be there because he attends every obscure music festival, so he will not pass up a big one like this.

To finance the event, the organizers are selling. T-shirts (Black -- what did you think?) bearing the wording "Pardon Me, I'm Pickin' Flowers".

So boys and girls load up the wagons -- come November we are agoing to Starkville.

Classical Music World Loses Giant

2007-09-06T14:05:00.000-07:00

Luciano Pavarotti, famed Italian opera star and one of the greatest classical tenors, succumbed to pancreatic cancer Wednesday at his home in Modena, Italy. He was 71.

The music world is saddened by his passing for one of the truly greats has left us. Since the mid 1960's Pavarotti's operatic tenor voice has thrilled and awed millions the world over. A huge talent and a big man in statue, he reached down into that massive frame, and some of the most majestic sounds came forth like none other could produce.

Pavarotti was the son of a Modena baker, himself an amateur opera singer. He like other kids in his town grew up dreaming of being a soccer player. Pavarotti never fulfilled that wish, but decades later he would appear at the 1990 World Cup in Italy not as a player but singing his signature tune Nessun Dorma.

Teamed with Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras, great tenors in their own right, they were billed as The Three Tenors. Not only known for their classical talents, they crossed over into the popular music genre as well.

In fact some opera purists criticized Luciano for his Pavarotti and Friends performances -- duets with the likes of Bono to Stevie Wonder to Celine Dion. But as a born showman this endeared him to the masses and contributed to his tremendous popularity.

Who could not appreciate Luciano Pavarotti's redition of Memory from the Broadway musical Cats? So stirring was his version that one wonders why anyone else would bother. A truly beautiful piece of music sang as no one else could.

Today Pavarotti has joined a chorus of angels making all of Heaven ring with glorious music.

Tonight when I go home I will celebrate the great master's life and death, sitting in my chair with a glass of wine (Chianti, if I had it) and listening again to the wonderful voice of a great, great tenor.

Luciano, we will miss you, but we are thankful for your musical legacy. The world is a better place for your having passed this way.

Godspeed.

Jessica Puts "Wiggle" In Strut

2007-08-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

Those one or two people who read this blog know that I am prone to report on studies made by scientists, mathematicians and the like. I find the findings of these people, who apparently have little else to do, facinating.

The latest study comes from Cambidge University in England. A group of mathematicians associated with the university have determined that Jessica Alba has the "perfect wiggle." These guys found there is a ratio between the hips and the waist that accounts for the sway in a woman's walk.

In other words, "This ratio provides the body with the right torso strength to produce a more angular swing and bounce to the hips during the walking motion" as reported in the London newspaper, the Telegraph.

If perhaps you are wondering, the nearer the ratio is to 0.7 the better and sexier the strut. They studied some other women and the closest was Marilyn Monroe who came in at a 0.69.

For those of you who want to take measurements, if you have a 25" waist and 36" hips you would be just about the right proportions. As I like to do some work with math problems, I'm finding that if you expand the sizes and try to keep the ratio at or near 0.7, a young lady who stretches the tape measure to a waist of 36" and hips of 51" would still come in very near to the perfect ratio. But I ask if the strut of Jessica would be near the same as one of the bigger girls?It will take some observation at my people watching lab (WalMart) to make some determinations.

There are some things about Jessica that maybe you don't know -- other than her wiggle.

She spent the better part of her first three years of life in Biloxi, Mississippi. Her dad was in the Air Force, and they moved about some.

She graduated from high school at the age of 16. Must have some brains behind that wiggle.

She has at least two tatoos -- one of a daisy with a ladybug on it on the back of her neck and the Sanskrit word for "lotus" inside one of her wrists. I can't say if she has others and/or their locations.

She likes to cook -- nothing like a woman who likes to cook and wiggle. Her specialties are chicken enchiladas and homemade tortillas.

Her nickname is "Sky Angel" -- I have no idea what that is all about.

I suppose that is all you need to know about Jessica Alba. The next time you see her look for the "perfect wiggle."

2007-08-28T10:09:00.001-07:00

Geography: A Must For U.S. Schools

2007-08-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that you have seen the video clip over and over on the news unless you have been in a cave for the last couple of days.

Miss Teen South Carolina's response to the question about locating the United States on a world map was actually a tell-tale sign that many American students, and adults as well, are unable to locate almost anything on a map. I am not sure about her geography skills -- I'm inclined to believe that she was flustered and under a lot of pressure to answer a question she did not expect.

Melinda, my wife, teaches geography to ninth graders, and she tells some real horror stories about some of their abilities with maps. Geography should be a must in all high schools and a requirement for graduation.

I'm sure most of us will never be in Miss Teen South Carolina's situation, but I'll bet we have encountered similiar problems in answering questions, both oral and written. Remember that on some tests when you had absolutely no idea of an answer, you wrote a lot of BS trying to snow the teacher. This, of course, was not her situation because she had to think on her feet -- that is difficult for some people. I feel very sorry for her and her embarrassment over such a disjointed and senseless reply.

I do not do this to further embarrass the girl, but in case you missed it or was not sure what her answer was, the quote follows:

"I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh...people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as South Africa and, uh, Iraq everywhere like that, such as and...I believe that they should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our..."

I truly feel for her or anyone else who has to suffer through the humiliation resulting from her remarks.

We joke about the safe answer to questions in a beauty contest is to somehow work into the answer that you want to help hungry children and are an advocate of world peace.

I have never been a big fan of all of these beauty contests where the sponsors are really not looking for the most intelligent contestant -- I think that they throw in the questions to make the competition look a little more legitimate.

So let's not punish Miss Teen South Carolina anymore -- she made the statement -- it was under pressure -- it probably doesn't reflect her intelligence.

A Trip Back In Time

2007-08-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

Saturday, August 25, 2007, at about 7:00 p.m. I boarded a time machine and was whisked back over 4 decades.

Travis and Laurette provided Melinda and me with this nostalgic trip. Our adventure back to years past began as Travis piloted the machine through a time warp at the gates of the Wilson County Fair in Lebanon, Tennessee.

I had not been to a county fair since I was in my late teens and had been a regular at the now defunct Clay County Fair in West Point, Mississippi.

I can only say that it was a most enjoyable trip as I yearned for those simplier days of youth and slathered a freshly-fried corndog with mustard and relived the sights, sounds and smells of days gone by.

With the big ferris wheel turning over and over in the background of the midway, Melinda and I stopped for a while at the cattle barn, grabbed seats in the grandstand and watched the judging of some beautiful white Charloias heifers and bulls. Then on to the poultry and rabbit area to view some chickens, ducks, turkeys and some strange-looking fowl and rabbits. Purple, blue, red and white ribbons hung from some of the cages as these animals had been judged to be the best of the lot.

I took a little walk of my own wandering through replicas of old businesses and shops of times past on to a vegetable garden maintained by the Wilson County Master Gardeners.

On the grounds were old farm tractors -- ones that I had not seen in years -- the John Deere A, the Farmall C and the International Harvester Cub. I was disappointed -- I did not see an old Ford or Ferguson -- the type of tractor that we had owed at our farm. These would have completed my trip to old farm equipment.

We visited the pavillion where baked goods, canned fruits and vegetables, quilts and other handiworks had been judged and were left on display for fairgoers to marvel, or in my case to sometimes say, "I can do better than that." No, Travis' apple pie was not there because officials had thrown it away earlier in the week when it did not garner one of the coveted ribbons.

About 10:30 Travis drove the time machine back into the present completing a journey of three and a half hours or so into a time long held dear to me.

Thank you Travis and Laurette -- I had a most wonderful time, and I hope this is a part of Americana that will not soon disappear as have so many of our other institutions of the past.

********

2007-08-24T13:41:00.000-07:00

Where Did That Big Hole Come From?

2007-08-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

A team of University of Minnesota scientists have stumbled on a great big hole in the universe. They say this thing is at least 1 billion light years wide -- or to convert that distance to something that we might better understand, we're talking about nearly 6 billion trillion miles of stark emptiness. Wow! What a hole!

The scientific study released Thursday says that the cosmic blank spot is devoid of stars, no galaxies, no giant sucking black holes nor even mysterious dark matter.

Supposedly astronomers have known for a long time that there are areas in the universe where no one had left the light on, but they are really astonished at the size of this.

Not being well versed in the science of astronomy (or any other science for that matter) I sort of felt that the universe was just full of holes. When the distance to your nearest neighboring planets, outside of our solar system, is measured in light years that would appear to me to be a pretty good sized hole. But what do I know -- I've just got common sense.

When your main job in life is to look out into an unbelievable expanse of stars, planets and all that stuff you become excited when something pops up that defies explanation. These nerdy guys and gals get pretty well worked up and start devising all kinds of theories like "holes in the universe probably occur when gravity from areas of bigger mass pull matter from areas of smaller mass." This would seem to be a logical conclusion, but what if it were something devised by those aliens who ride in UFO's so they can sneak in undetected to do their mischief while everyone is watching a big hole?

There was one quote that I thought was priceless -- Steve Maran, retired NASA astronomer, apparently said with a straight face, "This is incredibly important for something where there is nothing to it." Now, just what does that mean?

Maybe the true explanation is that God does have a sense of humor and delights in messing with the heads of mere mortals who try to unlock his mysteries. Don't get me wrong -- I'm all for scientific exploration, but we have to realize that we cannot possibly fully comprehend our Creator and His Creation.

It is a subject for another day, but comes to mind after writing this tongue in cheek stuff. I get really, really ticked when I hear some televangelists and ministers who completely understand God, all of His Creation and plans. They could even draw the plans of Heaven and put in the street names. I promise you will hear more about this.

Have a great, great weekend.

Blog Is Messing Up

2007-08-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am still having some trouble with the blog. My latest will show up some time and some time it won't on my computer. If you see the one that is about Ole Miss hit "search blog" in the upper left and the one that starts CH4, CO2 etc. will pop up. I just went to the blog again and yesterday's did show up -- don't know what is wrong.

CH4, CO2, Al Gore & Norwegian Moose

2007-08-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

With all due respect to Big Al Gore and his carbon dioxide and global warming theories, researchers in Norway now claim that a grown moose (or were they looking at Big Al?) produces 2,100 kilos of methane a year. I have no idea how much a kilo is, but I suspect it is a bunch. This would be equivalent to the amount of CO2 caused by an automobile on an 8,077-mile trip so says der Spiegel.

The moose, Norway's national animal, as you would expect releases methane out of both ends -- through burping and flatulence. Cows have the same problem, but I haven't been able to determine a moose to cow ratio, but I would think that the sizes of the moose and cow would figure into the equation.

This huge amount of burping and flatulating of methane is thought by the Norwegians to be more harmful to the environment than carbon dioxide.

There are estimated to be over 100,000 moose in Norway -- by my math that's 210 million kilos of methane floating around the heads of 4.6 million Norse people. Going on with this math problem we find that is over 4 1/2 kilos per man, woman and child. I might say that is a lot of burps and flatulence to deal with as one goes about his/her daily activities. But all of this is Norway's problem, and we have problems of our own -- don't we Big Al?

I have no idea nor do I care about the population of moose in the United States and Canada, but I do know that according to a joint report of the National Statistics Service (U.S. Dept. of Agriculture) and the Canadian equivalent agency there are 111.3 million cows and calves combined (give or take a few) in the two countries as of January 1, 2007. This is good stuff -- I waded through some pretty dry research to get these numbers.

Now let us suppose a cow/calf on average burps and flatulates about half as much as a moose. Using that same Norwegian math I calculate that the Americans and Canadians are wallowing around in about 116 trillion 865 million kilos of methane just from our bovine population. Surely all animals (including homo sapiens) produce methane with those same bodily functions.

Big Al, let me throw something else at you. Methane is a relatively potent greenhouse gas with a high global warming potential. Big Al, if you'll take that chicken leg out of your mouth, you'll see where this is going. When averaged over 100 years each kilogram of CH4 (methane) warms the Earth 25 times as much as the same mass of CO2. But let's be fair to Big Al -- there is 220 times more CO2 in the atmosphere as CH4. But here is where it gets hairy -- CH4 contributes to the presence of CO2 because it has a half life of 7 years, so every 7 years half of the methane in the atmosphere is converted to CO2 and H2O. Don't you like it when a plan comes together?

I could go on and on with this stuff and probably will at a later date, but I'm getting tired and want to wrap this thing up. I am suggesting to Big Al as a start toward turning around this global warming thing we kill all the moose in Norway. Mind you it is just a start, but it has to be started somewhere, and it will probably be more effective than those environmental credits that you are buying and selling.

As I see it, and I ain't real smart, if a company or individual wants to throw more junk in the atmosphere or waste more energy, it or he/she just pays for the priviledge. Those enviromental credits are sold and traded just like stocks on Wall Street, and people like Big Al get richer and fatter.

Ain't this country great!

Ole Miss Rebels In Spotlight Again

2007-08-22T06:09:00.000-07:00

Well, it is out, and it is the survey we have all been waiting for since the one published last year.

The Princeton Review's annual list of the top 20 party schools has West Virginia University rated number 1 for the first time since 1997. The Mountaineers ranked 3rd last year behind the University of Texas and Penn State. WVU has made the list seven times in the last 15 years. Way to go Mountaineers.

The dubious honor for West (by God) Virginia's largest university has come about much to the chagrin of administrators who have attempted to curb underage drinking and rowdy behavior.

I have never been to Morgantown, the home of WVU, but according to the city's official website 30 to 45 inches of snow can be expected each year, and the mean temps in January range from a high of 37 to a low of 21. It is cold and snowy up there and personal antifreeze must be much desired to confront the elements. Enough about the Mountaineers.

Now, maybe this will startle you or maybe you expected our own University of Mississippi to make the runner up spot on the list. Yes, you read that right -- #2 in the country. The Rebels can boast of being in the collegiate top 20 albeit not on the football field, baseball diamond or basketball court -- but that will be determined as 2007 and 2008 roll along. You know partying teams don't require coaches who are overpaid, so this number 2 ranking should please the powers at be in Oxford.

Also on the list the Rebels garnered the number 3 spot for "lots of hard liquor", number 4 for "students almost never studying" and number 10 for "lots of beer." Moms and Dads of those Oxford students have real reasons to be proud.

The Princeton Review is not affiliated with Princeton University , but is the New York- based company known for its test prep courses, educational services and books.

The Review ranks schools in 62 different categories which include Best Campus Food -- Virginia Tech; Most Beautiful Campus -- Sweet Briar; Dorms Like Palaces -- Smith College; Birkenstock-Wearing, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians and Tree Huggers -- Hampshire College.

As far as I could determine from the Princeton Review website, our beloved State did not make any of the top 20 list in any of the 62 rankings. I suppose MSU is a rather dull school, but we Dawgs know that it is a well-kept secret -- at least from the folks at the Princeton Review.

Our sincere thanks to the Ole Miss Rebels for once again putting the Magnolia State on the map.

Those "Baby Blues" Are A Plus

2007-08-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

I have been absent from the blogging business for about a week now -- sorry to all my faithful readers but have been a little too busy, and I don't really like that. At my age I prefer a little more leisurely pace.

The following report had to be made public for those of you who might have missed it.

Recent studies, conducted by Louisville University professor Joanna Rowe, indicate that there is a link between eye color and academic achievement.

According to the report those of us who have "baby blues" appear to be better strategic thinkers, and we have a better reaction time. We are more likely to excel in activities which require skill in time structuring and planning. The study says that blue-eyed people should be better in golf, cross-country running and taking exams. I go against the norms in that I'm not very good at the sports part of this, but I am pretty good at taking exams.

Our brown-eyed cousins are more likely to be better at sports like football and hockey. I really don't know any brown-eyed girls who are very good at either -- wonder what they are good at?
I think that the study is leaning toward saying that blue eyes have the brains and brown eyes the brawn.

Rowe says that the distinction in eye color has been observed but, as yet, not explained. More study is going to be necessary. Do you suppose that Professor Rowe has anything else to do at Louisville, or is this her only calling in life?

Bedforshire University (England) psychology lecturer, Dr. Tony Fallone, says, "There is no scientific answer yet." But he has also studied eye color and believes it is a serious indicator of personality and ability.

Now I implore those of us who have blue eyes not to take a superior attitude, even though we clearly are -- look around you and do some studies for yourself. We do need to treat brown-eyed people with dignity and respect.

I am going to my favorite "people lab" place this afternoon and sit on one of those benches and do some serious research myself. I hope I don't appear to be weird in the Olive Branch WalMart as I stare into people's eyes and make notes in my journal. I may have to follow some of them around just to determine if they would seem to be better at football or exams. I don't want to go into this with any prejudice, but I'm thinking football may lead the WalMart pack, and some of them might even have blue eyes.

Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto Dead At 89

2007-08-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

The baseball world, and especially Yankee fans, have lost a legend as Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto died today, August 14, 2007.

Scooter played for New York for 11 seasons before his career was interrupted by his service in World War II. He rejoined the Yankees after his enlistment was over.

In 1950 Rizzuto received the honor of being named the American League Most Valuable Player. In 1994 he was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame and was until his death the oldest living member of the Hall.

"Holy Cow!" was his on-air pronouncement as he followed his baseball career with over 40 years as a broadcaster for the Yankees. He was forever a Yankee, whether on the field or in the broadcast booth.

Phil played along side Yankee greats like Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle and many others. It was said that a Rizzuto bunt, a stolen base and a DiMaggio hit made up the scoring trademark of the Yankee's golden era.

When he returned to the diamond after the war in 1946, he went 58 games without an error making 288 straight successful plays. Rizzuto played erroless ball in 21 consecutive World Series games -- phenominal.

A debate always raged as to whether Phil or the Dodger's Pee Wee Reese was baseball's best short stop. You must know where my heart lies with this question.

Scooter tried out for both the crosstown Brooklyn Dodgers and the Yanks when he was only 16. Ironically Casey Stengel, then manager of the Dodgers, told him to "go get a shoeshine box." Rizzuto became one of Stengel's (when he became the Yankee manager) most dependable players.

I can still remember -- almost hear it -- when as a kid listening to the old Mutual Radio Broadcasting System's game of the day and "seeing" in my mind as if I were there Scooter's bunts, hits, steals and fantastic plays. I was proud to be a Yankee fan.

My hope now is that God has that golden diamond in Heaven all ready, and Phil "Scooter" Rizzuto can resume his position as the greatest shortstop major league baseball has ever known.

God bless you "Scooter."

Little Rock Or Bust!

2007-08-14T07:18:00.000-07:00

Gosh, I'm dumb -- put in the title and hit enter instead of tab. I'm probably not going to live long enough to learn how to properly use a computer.

Anyway, on the Little Rock thing -- my boss and I are going over there Thursday and Friday to visit the Jason Hydrotherapy bathtub factory. Hydrotherapy is a big word meaning that it has water jets.

Jason also makes air tubs and/or a combination of air jets and water jets with optional remote control and mood lights. Now days one can really make bathing an experience. Also, they manufacture tubs with all of the above that will accommodate two people. If any of you are interested, let me know.

Remo V. Jacuzzi, owner of Jason, is going to treat us to dinner at Loca Luna and Graffiti's -- if any of you are familiar with Little Rock and these two restaurants, I would like a little review. If they are bad maybe I can smuggle in a Big Mac.

---

A Really Odd Bit of News

A Japanese bike rider rode for 1.2 miles after hitting a safety barrier and severing his leg. He said that he felt extreme pain upon hitting the barrier but did not notice his leg was missing. I suppose he peddled with one leg, but how on earth does one not miss a body part? A companion rider picked up the limb and took it to the hospital, but it was too badly crushed to re-attach.

This story is a little too weird, but it was reported by Rueters.

Chinese At It Again

Mattel, Inc. is recalling 7.5 million toys including Polly Pocket and Batman action figures plus and additional 1.5 million die-cast cars containing -- you guessed it -- too much lead in their paint. They apparently have failed to take my Sherwin-Williams advice posted earlier.

Here is the shocker. More than 80% of the toys sold worldwide are manufactured in China. It is to be expected that toys sellers are getting just a wee bit nervous over these Chinese problems.

Looks like Santa is going to be bringing just fruits and nuts this Christmas.

President Lincoln Had Facial Defect

A recent study that included laser scans of two life masks, made from plaster casts of Lincoln's face, revealed that the 16th president had an unusual degree of facial asymmetry.

We all knew that Old Abe was not a very handsome man, but the left side of his face was smaller than the right. For you medical people this is a condition known as cranial facial microsomia.

According to the report the ailment joined a long list of maladies that afflicted Lincoln including smallpox, heart disease and depression. However, nowhere in the study did it indicate that he suffered from "Clintonitis" -- a sexual appetite condition.

More news later.

Little Rock Or Bust!

2007-08-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

Not Brent Shaeffer Again

2007-08-08T11:37:00.000-07:00

Don't know how many of you out there are Ole Miss fans -- I hope not many. But for you Dawg fans, and I suspect there are hoards of you in the blog world, I have some breaking news from the Memphis Commercial Appeal.

The paper announced today at 1:12 P.M. the much (too much) heralded Brent Shaeffer, quarterback extraordinaire, who couldn't complete a pass last year has now lined up at wide receiver to try and catch some.

The article did not say whether Brent was going to throw the ball and then try and run under it, but I suppose that would be asking too much of even him.

Anyway, I hope that the reporters who wrote, "Shaeffer's Coming To Ole Miss" -- "Brent's Not Coming To Ole Miss" -- "When Is Shaeffer Coming To Ole Miss?" -- "Has Shaeffer Completed His Coursework So He Can Come To Ole Miss?" and the endless stories of the saga of Brent Shaeffer have run out of ink -- I can't stomach any more Brent Shaeffer stories.

GO DAWGS!

Barry Bonds Has Worn Me Out!

2007-08-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

Travis had a good post this morning about Hank Aaron's homerun record finally being broken after seemingly endless chances at the plate by a tainted Barry Bonds. Other athletic things were mentioned in the the post, and it bears reading.

Now let us baseball fans sit back, grab another beer and a couple of hot dogs and watch A-Rod break that record in a few years -- barring injury or some other calamity. Alex be de man.

In my comment to Travis's post I mentioned a couple of my Yankee heroes -- Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle who both swatted many a baseball out of the park under the influence of Johnny Walker or Jack Daniels -- two heroes of a different kind. I don't suppose steroids were in use back then. They did it with sheer muscle, timing and a little alcohol.

Since the Bonds' feat is over now we can go back to the more important people in the news -- Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears etal. After all, all of America hangs at the edge of seats wondering what will be next for these Hollywood role models.

What's Up With China?

2007-08-08T06:58:00.000-07:00

This is kinda old news, but I think it needs rehashing a bit. It seems that the big Mattel recall, 1.5 million toys made in China may be the straw that broke the camel's back. The problem with this new set of recalls and crappy Chinese merchandise is too much lead in the paint. So I guess the Chinese leaders are going to have to get the lead out of their collective butts and bring about some sense to this nonsense.

First they were trying to poision all of our pets with that chemical in the food. What was that all about? Many, many other problems have arisen with Chinese-produced items. In June a whole bunch of toy trains had to be recalled -- you guessed it, the old too much lead in the paint situation.

I've got a solution for this leaded paint business. The Chinese need to hire Sherwin-Williams to load up a big boat with good paint, and we all know it is good, and sail to China. Apparently we in America don't know how to make toys anymore, and the Chinese don't know how to make paint. We need a little Chino-American cooperation for the safety of our kids.

There is some other stuff the Chinese can't get right -- toxic ingredients found in fish. Who would eat Chinese fish? If my catfish doesn't say "made in the Mississippi Delta" I ain't gonna eat it.

I once bought some "made in China" crawfish. I must have been stupid, and I apologize to my Cajun Coon-Ass friends in Louisiana. I promise I will never do that again.

How about that Chinese toothpaste? What is one of the last things you would think that America would import from China -- toothpaste? I just don't want Chinese taking over my bathroom. This toothpaste, it was reported, was used mostly in jails, so I guess that was part of the punishment. The judge might give the convicted 5 years and a case of Chinese toothpaste -- serves him or her right.

I'm not real smart when it comes to all of this international trade business, but it looks like a no brainer if you import more than you export. A trade deficit ain't good for the American economy or labor force. We can be more self-sufficient if we will prod our less than intelligent Senators and Congressmen to get the lead out of their butts and enact some legislation to make this trade business a more level playing field. As Americans we can be produce more of our own goods and not have to import all of this cheap-ass stuff from other countries.

Look at all of the foreign products in your local WalMart. That commercial giant would look like a ghost town without imported stuff. Another case in point -- one day I went to Fred's looking for three specific items I needed. I got them -- one was from Brazil, one from Indonesia and one from Taiwan. That is utterly rediculous.

Sorry I had to get on the old soap box today, but some things really do bother me. You'll hear more things that irk me as time goes on.

Have a nice day and buy something Chinese -- preferably something that is painted.

Blogging Has Its Good Side

2007-08-02T11:02:00.000-07:00

To my many (?) loyal fans I offer my sincere apologies for having this blog on hiatus since Monday, but since I started this piece of nonsense back in June I have logged in almost 50 posts -- the old brain is tired and sapped out -- had to have a rest. Plus material has gotten a little scarce.

This blogging business can get a little scary in that you sometimes gets comments from weird people and/or weird places -- I have gotten both. But what has really amazed me is there are readers whom one is surprised that they are wasting their time doing so. And then you hear from someone way back in your past -- people whom you have not forgotten about, but you did not expect for paths to cross on the internet.

I just got an e-mail the other day from someone I had taught with at the Amory Middle School in the 60's. We taught together one year, and the next year he was my principal, and he then moved on to bigger and better things. Eventually I did too. At least we would hope that, but maybe we might have been better off in that situation -- who knows?

He, being a blogger too, had stumbled across Not Without Some Thought. We exchanged a couple of e-mails and sort of caught up on the last 40 years. Part of that time we were not living that far from one another, but neither of us knew. Maybe we can get together in the not too distant future and really relive some old times.

In one of Terry's e-mails he mentioned that Lori had e-mailed him inquiring if I were the same person who was at AMS when she was a student. She had stumbled across my blog as well. What an absolute small world this is, and it is getting smaller and smaller.

We were in Aberdeen not long ago visiting with Melinda's parents, and we had gone out to a catfish place on Coontail Road (The Friendship House or Bill and Jim's -- it goes by both names).
A lady came by the table, and she and Melinda talked for a minute and later the subject of my blog comes up and she says, "Oh, I have read it -- I know who Little Daddy is." Makes you wonder if you posted anything that might cause some trouble if you ever go back to Aberdeen.

This is really such an enjoyable experience. I read primarily the blogs of Travis and Laurette and their friends. All of them, of course, are much younger than I but are very, very talented individuals and write some great, funny stuff. To me nothing can compare to a sharp wit, and these bloggers are endowed with it. Yall keep up the good work and keep me laughing.

If there are others out there from the past who happen to stumble across this blog, please give me a comment or e-mail and maybe we can relive some good old times. I look forward to it, but if I have wronged you in some way or owe you money, I am not that person at all -- you've got me confused with someone else.

Some Astronauts Take To The Bottle

2007-07-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

News stories last week and over the weekend have had endless pieces about American astronauts and some of whom might have had or have a drinking problem. Of course this is my kind of story which requires that I wade in and give my two cents worth.

To date there have been over 350 astronauts in our space program flying everything from the old Mercury to the current shuttle. One would expect out of that many flyboys and flygirls there is bound to be one or two or more who like to belly up to the bar. What are the odds?

I have an intriguing question -- what does it feel like to be both drunk and weightless? Being a product of the 60's and young and sometimes wild, I can appreciate one of those feelings but not both -- that's got to be a real space trip. Sorry Wallie, but one has to be truthful.

How about crazy astronauts? We suspect that we had one -- the less than stable Captain Depends. There have been later reports saying that she did not wear a diaper for that long trip from Texas to Florida. Be that as it may, she appeared to be on the irrational side, we would have to agree. She just may have had or should have had a little nip out of the bottle to bolster her courage for the journey.

Do you suppose the Russian cosmonauts, manning the International Space Station for months at a time, keep a little stash of vodka behind one of the control panels? There cannot possibly be enough to keep them busy 24-7-365, so they've got to have a little partytime.

In looking back over our space adventures, had I been the one, rather than Neil Armstrong, who made that first step onto the moon surface, I might have needed a little bit of alcoholic beverage to steady my nerves to make that "giant leap for mankind." And another question -- do those spacesuits have little pockets for flasks? Or maybe they have to be creative like Bulldog fans sneaking booze into Scott Field.

As space technology has advanced, I think the time has come to put up an orbiting "First Chance - Last Chance" saloon where the shuttles could stop on the way out and again on the way back just so the astronauts could cool their heels and have a few to relieve some of the tension that they all must experience. Perhaps it would be cheaper to add a wing to the ISS and let the Russians be the bartenders.

You might typically hear this at the space watering hole, "Hey Ivan, give me two more vodka and tonic -- one for here, and one in a go cup."

August 16, 1977 -- Do You Remember?

2007-07-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

To most of the readers of this blog August 16, 1977, probably has little or no significance unless you happen to really be into music. But to many fans around the world this is the 30th anniversary of an emotion-ridden event.

I will give you a little hint -- Tupelo, Mississippi, is already gearing up for a remembrance celebration for fans who will be there from everywhere, and Memphis will be the site of observances as well.

The Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal (Tupelo Newspaper) is urging people to write in 350 words or less their remembrances of this fateful day. I am old enough to remember (the subject of this post would have been only a few years older than I), but I don't really have a lot of memories of that day because I was not a fan of this person even though I did appreciate the talent.

By now you have guessed that Elvis Presley died on August 16, 1977. I am telling or reminding you of this so that you may appropriately commemorate the date.

Of course the King's fans from everywhere will come to Tupelo because of it being his birthplace.
The date of his birth was January 8, 1935 -- do the math for his age if he had lived. Would he still be entertaining? Would he have lost any weight -- he was getting a little puffy toward the end. Would he have approved of one of Lisa Marie's marriages? These and other questions we will just have to ponder.

A funny story (or maybe you would have to have been there) -- years ago I was attending a sales meeting in Memphis at what was then the airport Hilton (now the Holiday Inn Express -- like the commercial). Anyway the hotel was filled with Elvis fans, and most of the males were Elvis wantabees. Imagine what it was like to be in a huge crowd of Elvis look-a-likes -- the term look-a-likes should be used loosely -- some of them got close to the look, but some of them were absolutely pitiful. Even though the sales meeting was very stressful, we were able to get some laughs.

I also remember seeing Elvis' first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show. The camera would not show him below the waist because the censors thought his wiggle was vulgar. Vulgar has taken on a whole new meaning now.

I'm bringing this to your attention at this early date, so that you may plan to celebrate the occasion. You've got about 20 days to find a costume, borrow a guitar and practice your wiggle. Is 20 days enough time to grow sideburns?

Now I've Heard It All

2007-07-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

Those of you who follow this blog know that I have written about cats before -- QT, Snape and Floyd, but Oscar is a very special cat whose story needs to be told.

Oscar is a two-year-old feline who lives in the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island. The only thing special about him is that he has an uncanny ability to predict when a patient will die.

It was reported that Oscar is really not a people-person -- he doesn't lie around all day just waiting for someone to pet him, but he climbs up by the patient as death approaches.

Oscar grew up on the third floor of the nursing facility where patients with Alzheimers and Parkinson's diseases are housed. He makes his rounds much as the doctors and nurses do, but get ready to notify the next of kin if he curls up next to a patient -- that patient will usually die within four hours.

In fact, to date he has been observed in 25 cases, and his accuracy is phenominal -- so much so that the staff uses Oscar as a barometer for notifying the patient's family of impending death.

The story goes that most of the family members are grateful, and they appreciate the companionship that Oscar provides to their loved ones in his or her last hours. And most do not mind his presence in the room, however, one family member wanted him out of the room while the patient was dying, and Oscar paced outside the door and meowed his displeasure.

"Oscar is better at predicting death than the people who work there," said Dr. Joan Teno, Brown University staff member who treats the nursing home patients and specializes in care for the terminally ill.

According to the doctors at the center most of the people to whom Oscar pays a last visit are not, because of their advanced illness, aware that he is the angel of death. They said most, but what about those few patients who are lucid and see Oscar making his way into their rooms? Imagine how they must feel when told by a cat that their hours on this earth are numbered.

Dr. Teno became convinced of Oscar's grim reaper abilities when she made the visit to patient number 13 in his list of successes. Teno thought the patient was near death because of the telltale signs, but Oscar would not stay in the room. As it turned out Teno's prediction was 10 hours too early, and Oscar came back to curl up with the patient for the final two hours of life.

No one has been able to figure out how Oscar knows when one's time has come, but he is definitely a special cat with a very special ability. It is such a strange, strange world.

Oscar was recently awarded a wall plaque commending his "compassionate hospice care."

Watch For Giant Squid

2007-07-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

A report out of California warns commercial fishermen, who make their livings casting nets off the Pacific coast, that giant squid(s) (is it both singular and plural?) are invading the area and gobbling up a lot of our seafood supply.

These things can grow up to 7 feet long and weigh as much as 110 pounds. I smell a new adventure monster movie, "The Attack of the Giant Squid."

Probably Steven Spielberg has graduated from these types of movies since his epic, "Jaws" (1975). I'm not sure if he were involved in any of the several sequels. But we always have Toho Studios in Japan who gave us such memorable classics as, "Edirah" (1966 film about giant deep sea shrimp), "Gamine" (1970 thriller starring an alien-possessed crab), "Gezora" (1970 movie sticking with the alien-possessed theme but substituting a cuttlefish) and "Titanosarus" (1970 feature about an underwater dinosaur). There are, of course, many other movies of the monster genre, but these are a few of the more notable about specifically sea monsters. What? You haven't seen any of these? Shame on you!

As an aside, my only problem with these movies -- but on second thought it might have made them much more enjoyable -- was Toho Studios inability to synchronize Japanese mouth movement with dubbed in English. Surely that problem can be solved.

Anyway, the Dosidicus gigas (for you science buffs) or Humbolt squid is a very agressive predator which has the ability to change its eating habits dictated by supply. It is now consuming food favored by the shark and tuna -- two species that are part of this newly acquired diet are anchovies and hake. I don't care for anchovies on my pizza or in my Caesar salad, so their scarcity poses no problem for me, however, if I am not mistaken, the hake could be a relative of the whitefish or haddock, and its dwindling population might effect Captain D's and Long John Silver's -- let us pray for this not to happen.

In writing this post I have come up with an idea for a Japanese film starring the Dosidicus gigas -- the giant squid makes its/their way through the Panama Canal and into the Carribbean headed toward New Orleans and the mouth of the "Father of Waters." It/they adapt to fresh water (that's going to be a stretch for Mississippi River water) and add catfish to the diet. The South would be devastated -- it would be worse than the surrender of the Confederacy at Appamattox and the ensueing Reconstruction. A true Southerner cannot survive for long without fried catfish.

To make matters worse the giant squid could also go up the Warrior River in Alabama and into the Tenn-Tom. Columbus, Aberdeen and Fulton could be shown as positions where angry fishermen rally and attack the creatures as they climb over the locks and dams of the Tombigbee. At some point I suppose tactical nuclear weapons or some sort of laser would be used to finally stop the advance. Can you feel the excitement?

If we can get this potential Oscar-winner to the wide screen, I'm sure there will be co-starring roles, bit parts and cameos for the Southern citizenry, so brush up on your acting skills and take classes if necessary (as if good acting is necessary in a Japanese flick). It could prove to be a real opportunity.

Couple of Snippets of News

2007-07-24T07:33:00.000-07:00

Bikini-Clad Mowers

I'm sure you have heard by now about the new lawn service in Memphis -- girls mowing yards in their bikinis. Fox News has reported the story the last couple of days and interviewed the creative owner of the service.

I don't think that he has broadened his scope of business yet into Olive Branch, but I am sure there is a demand.

One of my next door neighbors told me when we moved into our house that his lawn would never look as good as mine because he had rather drink beer than to mow. So far he has held pretty much to his word. He would be a prime candidate for this service, and I could get my lawn chair and watch and not have to pay the $65 to $85 the service owner is charging.

I had considered asking Melinda to mow our lawn in a bikini, but then I realized she doesn't even mow fully clothed, so that idea is shot to hell. And I'm sure that we have a neighborhood covenant against that sort of thing anyway.

Dawgs in Spotlight

As you know State will open its season on ESPN Thursday night, August 30 against the fighting Tigers of LSU. But in conjunction with that appearance before a national television audience the Dawgs will also be a prime focus of college night previews on the network on Wednesday night.

Chris Fowler, who will call Thursday night's game, will also be the Starkville set anchor for the Wednesday night affair. The broadcast will include a five-minute interview with Sylvester.

According to ESPN the college preview is a four-hour show with the anchors in Bristol, CT, periodically going to Fowler and the Starkville set for updates and Dawg news.

Should be good publicity for our beloved Bulldogs, but of prime importance is to beat the Cajun Coon-Asses from Baton Rouge.

I wonder if Larry Templeton has considered engaging the Memphis bikini crew to mow Scott Field right before kickoff. Sounds like a great idea to me.

Go Dawgs!!!!!!

Soon "I LOVE MATILDA" Tattoo May Not Be Permanent

2007-07-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

Some of my multitude (?) of readers may have tattoos, and that is their business and none of mine. But this blog is educational (?) and informative (?), and I report whatever seems to interest me.

A new tattoo dye will find its way into some tattoo parlors this fall which will be much more easily removed than the type of dye currently used. This dye has something to do with trapping dye pigments in microscopic beads coated with a safe, biodegradable plactic. I'll have to take the developer's word, Edith Mathiowitz, professor of medical science and engineering at Brown University, that this sort of thing is going to work. Understanding most chemical reactions in or on the body is a little out of my league.

For those who have the urge to get a tattoo that expresses their eternal love in a relationship and yet they feel that someday they may have regrets (three cheers for committment) they can opt for a tattoo that really doesn't have to be permanent -- makes for a great exit strategy for a partnership that goes south.

Apparently the removal process allows for the tattoo to be zapped away with a single laser treatment that is simpler and less expensive than the barrage of seven to fifteen treatments needed with the current dye. Sometimes it does require some time for the image to completely fade away. There is still a fairly steep cost for this process but not as much as the numerous treatments now required.

The report says that while the idea of a removable tattoo may be intriguing to some, those artists in the industry are somewhat skeptical, especially since the new dye is considerably more expensive. Jerry Lorito, vice president of the tattoo removal company, Tat2BeGone, says"I don't know anyone who would pay more for a tattoo where their thought is, 'Maybe one day I'm going to remove this.'"

According to a study reported in the Journal of American Academy of Dermatologists 36% of Americans between the ages of 18 to 29 get tattoos.

That statistic is not hard for me to believe. My favorite place to study the human race (?) is WalMart. Those of us who are really interested in the study of people owe a debt of gratitude to Sam Walden for providing not only a great commercial establishment but a place frequented by individuals of all shapes, sizes, economic status, races and looks. Next time you are there, and I know all of you go, check out the tattoos. Some sort of blue color seems to be the most prevalent. Maybe it is cheaper to get a one-color job, but I prefer a little more pizzaz when I get mine. Also, take a look at college and pro athletics, especially basketball players, because their uniforms allow them to show more skin. Again this blue color seems to be the one of choice.

It bears repeating that the problem of committment is going to rear its ugly head for some. I think I know how we are going to solve this problem, and if both partners in the relationship could agree that this thing may run into some snags down the road then we might just be able to start a new tattoo industry where the thing can be drawn on the selected body part with a semi-
permanent magic marker. When and if the bond between the two lovers seems to be getting to the breaking point, about three good showers with a strong soap should do the trick. The tatoo can always be reapplied if the relationship gets back on track.

Anyone who is interested in investing in my idea can contact me at this blog -- I really need the money.

Dog Poop Reveals Cash

2007-07-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

For all of the dog-lovers out there, and I apologize in advance for any weak stomachs that may not be able to handle this. When you try to post every day, material sometimes becomes hard to find, and you find yourself grasping at any straw you may see.

Pepper, a family pet of Debbie Hulleman from Menomonie, Wisconsin, is an 8-year-old black Labrador-German shorthair who has the habit of "gnawing on lipstick, munching on shampoo bottles and chewing on toothpaste." Apparently Pepper has broadened his horizons on his choice of items for his diet.

Hulleman found herself in a real mess recently because of Pepper's new-found cravings. Her mom was roped into baby sitting the pooch while the Hullemans were on vacation. One of mom's friends came visiting and Pepper noticed one of those cash-containing envelopes from the bank in her purse and proceeded to gobble up almost $750.00

Mom recovered some of the bills that Pepper had spit out, thinking she had it all, but when Debbie got back from vacation and started cleaning up Pepper's mess outside, she keenly observed a $50.00 bill enmeshed in a pile of poop.

Then as Hulleman sorted through Pepper's deposits and vomit (hope you are not eating while reading this) she netted almost $400.00 in additional bills. Add that to what had been painstakenly recovered and that accounted for $647.00. The remaining $100.00 bill had been chewed in half and only one half was found -- not enough to redeem.

Armed with rubber gloves, of course, Hulleman sat about soaking, straining and rinsing the "soiled" (much of an understatement) bills. She says that she just kept rinsing and rinsing. The weary pet owner was able to go to the bank and swap Pepper's poop-stained cash for fresh money. Hope the teller had some rubber gloves.

According to Hulleman, "Everyone said, 'I can't believe you did that.' Well, for $400.00, yeah, I would do that." she stated.

I'm sure the Wolfes, if Maggie got the urge to go on a money diet, would dive in for $25.00 or less. Others of my handful of readers who have dogs maybe should keep a watchful eye on your canines in case they start craving a little cash.

No need for me to worry -- Floyd the cat turns his nose up at anything that isn't Purina Cat Chow.

Have a nice weekend and be sure that when you scoop it up take a good look.

World's Oldest Profession 101

2007-07-19T06:14:00.000-07:00

I suppose that the New Zealand Tertiary Education Commission, hereafter referred to as the TEC, has come up with a first for higher education.

Funding for courses in prostitution are being studied and have been brought to the attention of members of the New Zealand Parliament. MP's were told in hearings that courses in the world's oldest profession would have to meet the same criteria as other tertiary courses of study. Is this for real?

It is going to take all of the restraint I can muster to resist some very poignant remarks on this, but I will try my best.

TEC minister, Michael Cullen, has said that funding of all courses will be based on a three-year plan and not on the number of students who elect to enroll in specific approved courses. "These changes are aimed at increasing the quality and relevance of courses," he said.

I've got lots and lots of questions about what is going on in the educational bureaucracy of New Zealand.

National Party education spokeswoman, Katherine Rich, questioned as to whether this new plan of funding might lead to the proliferation of courses such as "Twilight Golf" which somehow got approved under the old plan.

I'm having a very difficult time with this story.

I can imagine this cute high school senior approaching mom and dad with the fact that she is torn between taking courses in prostitution or twilight golf. Either way it is bound to make these happy parents proud.

Or how about this senario -- the same cute high school senior confronts her parents with the old "good news -- bad news" announcement. The good news is that she has made up her mind to go to college after all, and you know what the bad news is. When asked about their daughter and her educational plans, the parents can enthusiastically say that she is studying prostitution.

Janice Shener, TEC chief executive, said that her organization could not dictate what courses the institutions of higher learning could offer, but those courses would have to "meet minimum quality standards, demonstrate genuine community need and government priorities. So what is the problem -- I would think courses in prostitution or twilight golf could meet that criteria -- particularly in what appears to be a crazy New Zealand. (I know what prostitution is but just what is twilight golf?)

I have major questions about professors and their training (you cannot let unqualified people teach), if the courses would be gender exclusive, types of tests and exams to be given and if it would be possible to audit the courses?

Even though I have a masters in education from State and was taught by, for the most part, some great teachers, I have always been suspect of the likes of NEA and bureaucrats in state and national education departments. They may be just as nutty as those in New Zealand. But surely they would not endorse this sort of curriculum -- but who knows?

Don't you appreciate how I restrained myself and kept this pretty much on the high road when I could have had so, so much fun with this post?

Hurry Up -- I've Got To Go!

2007-07-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

This truly is one of the funniest things that I have seen in the news lately. I wanted to share it with my multitude of blog readers -- yeah, that's right.

An 80-year-old woman in Fredericksburg, VA, stepped out of her house to buy a newspaper at about 5:30 a.m. She was gone only a short time but upon her return she saw that the bathroom door was closed. She opened the door to find a strange man who had made himself comfortable and was apparently busy about his "business" on her toilet.

Armed with the paper and probably planning to do a little "library" reading herself, the first question out of the lady's mouth was, "How long are you going to be?" Certainly would have been my question under those pressing circumstances.

When he didn't seem to understand and replied in his native tongue which she didn't understand either, she then used that familiar word "police" that seems to break all language barriers.

It was reported that the man left quickly. There were no details as to the progress he had made while he was in the lady's bathroom.

The lady gave the police a great description saying that he was an Hispanic male in his late 20's, wearing a sleeveless black shirt, dark pants and had a tatoo on one of his upper arms. She might have added that he had about 6 feet of Charmin hanging out of his waistband.

******

Then there was the would-be robber in Washington, D.C. who slid through an open gate to the backyard patio of a home in the Capitol Hill neighborhood.

A group of friends were having a late dinner of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp (um! sounds good) when this hooded fool puts a gun to the head of a 12-year-old girl and says, "Give me your money, or I'll start shooting."

As would be expected, everyone froze, but one guest spoke up and told the man that they were just finishing dinner and why didn't he have a glass of wine with them? Now I'm going to ask this armed idiot to have a drink?

The story goes that the robber, with his hood down, took a sip of the Chateau Malescot St-Exupery (bet that bottle didn't have a screw top) and exclaimed, "Damn, that's good wine."

Then the girl's father told the intruder to take a whole glass, and the guest who first spoke up offered him the whole bottle. This robber guy, who definitely should have taken up another line of work, took another sip and a bite of Camembert cheese (couldn't they have at least fixed him a steak and some shrimp?). He puts the gun in the waistband of his sweatpants and here the story turns a lot more bizzarrer (I made up that word -- it seems to fit the situation better).

This robber clown apologizes and tells the aghast family and guests that he thinks he has come to the wrong house. Now get this -- he asks them, "Can I get a hug?" The lady who offered the wine stands up and wraps her arms around the armed man, and four other guests follow suit.

"Can I have a group hug?" the would-be bandit asks, and the five adults comply. The man walks away a few minutes later with the crystal wine glass in hand. Damn that makes them one glass short of a set, and you know how difficult it is going to be to replace it. Oh well, nothing was stolen, other than the glass, and no one was hurt.

Once the robber leaves, everybody runs into the house, locks all of the doors and stares at each other -- absolutely speechless -- a most appropriate reaction. Upon the group's recovery the police were finally called. I guess the trail was cold by then.

Police classified the case as strange but true.

The moral of the story -- always keep yourself armed with a good bottle of wine.

******

Oh, and I must report that the 3 or 4-day hunt for Bigfoot that I mentioned in an earlier post has been held and concluded. It was deemed a success. No, they didn't actually see Bigfoot, but they did hear him howl late one night -- enough evidence for me. Wonder if they got a whiff of him/her or perhaps they were upwind? Anyway, I suppose the crew that went along on the chase got their money's worth -- they shelled out $300 apiece for the experience. Reinforces what Phineas Taylor Barnum once said, "There is a sucker born every minute."

I'm Going Nuts

2007-07-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

Now the post is there -- I guess I didn't wait long enough for it to go to the moon and back. Sorry!

Technical Glitch

2007-07-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

Don't understand what happened, but if you are interested in reading today's (Tuesday) blog click "search blog" at upper left, and it will appear. Weird stuff about computers I can't comprehend.

More Of No Little People -- No Little Places

2007-07-17T11:30:00.000-07:00

It's ironic, but this comes on the heels of a post that I made last Thursday. It was my intent to post this on Friday, but other things came up.

This is the heart-warming story of Jessica Osborne, 20, an Angola, Indiana, Pizza Hut waitress who received a check for $10,000 from a family who wishes to remain anonymous to everyone but Jessica.

A mother and two sons frequented the Pizza Hut coming in at least once a week and sometimes more. They always asked for Jessica because she had been nice to them on their first visit. Jessica made it a point, as she had time from her duties, to interact with them, and they shared what was going on in each of their lives. In their chats Jessica had told them about enrolling in college twice but had to drop out both times because of lack of funds. She had been editor of her high school newspaper and had a burning desire to study journalism.

A couple of weeks ago the family came in as usual but told Jessica that they were going to move away to another city and probably would not be seeing her anymore. Saddened Jessica asked them to come back and say goodbye before they left town.

The Sunday after that they returned with some other family members. When all of Jessica's tables were taken care of she greeted her "regular" customers and prepared for her goodbyes. After the usual pleasantries and introductions to the additional family members, Jessica was handed a folded check. The woman explained that the money was coming from an educational fund that had been set up when a family member died.

Jessica declined the gift, they insisted and Jessica will enroll in college this fall to persue her dream of becoming a journalist.

If you remember last Thursday's post -- No Little People - No Little Places -- some would say that Jessica was an insignificant person in an insignificant restaurant. But Jessica acted out her "sermon" and apparently greatly influenced this woman and her two children beyond her wildest dreams.

We may not be able to give something monetarily, but what we do give people in kindness, thoughtfulness and caring may be worth lots more to them than we would ever know.

May God bless you and yours.

Harry Potter Will Send Us All To Hell

2007-07-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

Got your attention with the headline, didn't I?

I have several other things in my blog file, one of which is timely and I wanted to report -- will do later. But I have to get this Harry Potter thing off my chest.

After a nice early dinner at Carrabba's Saturday night (opt for the lentil and Italian soup for a starter -- you won't be disappointed), I took Melinda to see "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."

I'll preface this by saying that I am not really a fan and have not read any of the books, but I do have an open mind and have an opinion, as I do on most everything else.

I went for three reasons:

1. Melinda is a big fan and has read some of the books.

2. I wanted to see this billion dollar kid from whom J. K. Rowling has amassed a fortune.

3. John Hagee, short and rotund senior pastor and fundamentalist televangelist at Cornerstone mega-church in Houston, said I was endanger of Hell if I went.

Thanks, Pastor Hagee, but the Hell part remains to be seen -- I haven't died yet. To back up his claim, Hagee is offering a DVD on Potter and other supernatural stuff for only $22.00 plus shipping and handling for those of us who may be interested.

Anyway, we go to the movie, and I think it is pretty good even though I'm not familiar with much of the background information that would be helpful to better understand what it is all about. But I do understand the basic concept of good versus evil. If I am wrong here, somebody, other than Hagee or the likes, needs to set me straight.

Harry Potter is good, but his reputation has been tarnished in the previous film, and Lord Voldermort is evil. Harry and his little band of students go to Hogwart where he teaches them about being a wizard, much of which is concerned with learning to wave this "stick" to knock people on their butts or levitate them. All of this is in preparation for fighting against the Dark forces. The small group of students name themselves Dumbledore's army. Professor Delores Umbridge, appointed by the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, is on a rampage to prevent Harry's and his proteges' efforts.

It looks like Harry saves his reputation, but the door is apparently open for another episode of this because I did not see the final battle of good versus evil. I need help here from Potter fans.

To date 330,000 people worldwide have seen the movie since it opened Wednesday. I don't know what the average cost of a ticket, but we are talking about tons of money. Hagee may be pissed because some of the money could have gone into his coffers.

I will report that I saw only one demon in the theater (expecting to see all kinds of witches, etc.)
This was a little kid who squeezed in front of us four times going to who knows where. I suspect he went somewhere to recharge his "stick." By the way he did say "excuse me" a couple of times.

Contrary to Hagee's thinking that kids who watched the movie are going to want to be wizards, practice sorcery or witchcraft or the like, leaving the threater I did not see one kid pull on his mom's coattail and say that he/she, upon growing up, wanted to be a wizard instead of a fireman or nurse.

I cannot comprehend the religious fundamentalist opposition to "Harry Potter" or Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" or C. S. Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia" -- apparently they do not possess the depth of thinking of these great writers.

Why Didn't My Girls Shop At Target?

2007-07-13T06:19:00.000-07:00

Fathers more than mothers are becoming more and more aware of the rising cost of the average American wedding. In fact, results of a study by Conde Nast Bridal Media (whoever that is) say the average cost of a wedding has reached $27,852. That's just about reason enough to pray for boy children rather than girls.

Because of the rise of nuptial-related items and activities many brides, with the blessing of their fathers, are "striking back, snubbing high-end florists, bridal boutiques and even jewelers in favor of bigger bargains at places like Target, Costco and WalMart" according to a report by MSNBC.

The report goes on to say, "Target, already known for its 'cheap chic' suits, t-shirts and other items, began offering wedding dresses on its Web site this year for as little as $89.99." Beats the hell out of the prices at that place somewhere in Alabama and another in Arkansas. It was reported that one bride got her dress at the prom shop in JCPenneys for less than that.

Target is also the place for "discounted wedding shoes, veils, gloves, flower girl baskets, guest books and other wedding accessories." They also say that WalMart's bakery is becoming increasingly popular for its wedding cakes. All cakes, regardless of the baker, have that icing straight out of the Crisco can, and who remembers what the cake tastes like anyway.

Costco's Web site lists a complete destination wedding package featuring a Tahitian ceremony and nine-night stay for as little as $4,080 per person -- hopefully there would be two people taking advantage of this. The happy bride and groom would have to get Mom's and Dad's congrats and best wishes at the airport 'cause Pops ain't gonna spring for another $8,160 just to make Mom happy.

Sam's Club reports that its jewelry sales have skyrocketed since it got into the engagement ring business six years ago. Its rings are somewhat reasonable, but the company did sell a Kentucky couple a rock for $185,000. I digress, but imagine that hunk of diamond in your buggy with the frozen chicken breasts, toilet paper and case of Corona. The cashier passes the items over the barcode scanner -- $11.99 --$15.46 -- $185,000 -- $22.97. Bells go off like you hit the jackpot at the casino.

Those same Conde Nast Bridal Media people say the average cost of an engagement ring is $4,435 -- Whoa! Take a look at yours and ask your loving hubby what he did with the rest of the money. Conde Nast whatever must be averaging in the likes of the 1/2 million dollar piece of ice that Charlie Sheen gave his new squeeze.

Anyway the point of the whole thing is that wedding costs can be moderated even though we do realize it is the most wonderful day in a girl's life next to the birth of that first child -- hope it's a boy.

Now if we can move the reception to Burger King maybe Mom and Pop can take advantage of the nine-night stay in Tahiti.

No Little People -- No Little Places

2007-07-12T18:42:00.000-07:00

I found this quote from Francis Shaeffer, an American Evangelical theologian and Presbyterian pastor, when reading Sam Shaw's blog. Sam is senior minister at Hope Church in Tupelo.

"May we remember throughout our lives that in God's sight there are no little people and no little places. Only one thing is important: to be concecrated persons in God's place for us, at each moment. Those who think of themselves as little people in little places, if committed to Christ and living under His Lordship in the whole of life, may, by God's grace, change the flow of our generation."

Shaw was quoting from a new biography of Shaeffer where the author was speaking of Shaeffer's compassion for individuals, stating that it was in stark contrast to how some contemporary religious leaders and professionals treat other people. "It is always revealing to watch such people 'off duty' and observe how they relate to those around them," he said.

Shaw writes of attending a major international Christian conference and found "it was rather disappointing to see that many of the speakers and leading figures were not even aware of the hotel staff, never mind thanking them for their service or making an effort to reach them with the gospel."

A favorite little quote of mine -- I don't even know to whom it should be attributed -- says, "I had rather see a sermon than to hear one." There is no better way than to be an example -- you never know who is looking to you for guidance and inspiration.

The Woman Rules

2007-07-12T09:19:00.000-07:00

"Men might throw their weight around at the office, but at home, women are the bosses," so concludes a just released study led by David Vogel, a psychologist at Iowa State University.

The research finds that in decision-making and domination of discussions women exert more power in the home. So what else is new? If you get bored with this just skip to the end and get the results of my study.

Looks like the old "it's got to be 50-50" for a successful marriage has been debunked and apparently doesn't apply anymore.

Vogel and associates at ISU surveyed 72 married couples with an average age of 33 who had been married for an average of 7 years. Each of the spouses answered questions about "relationship satisfaction and overall decision-making ability." Then each of the participants picked a relationship problem which they felt had to be resolved with the cooperation of both partners.

You might be surprised that money and housework were the most popular picks by both, but the more intimate areas of marriage relationships didn't come up as a marital issue.

The couples were videotaped for 10 minutes as they discussed the relationship problems each had suggested.

Upon analysis of the tapes, the researchers found that wives were more demanding (it took research to find that out?) and they were more likely to get their way (same comment as the demanding part).

"Women were communicating more powerful messages, and men were responding to those messages by agreeing or giving in." I don't see a lot of difference between agreeing or giving in -- in either of the cases the man loses.

"Women are responsible for overseeing the relationship, making sure that the relationship runs, that everything gets done and that everybody is happy," one of the researchers said.

Where does that leave us men? Agree to everything, continue to bring home the bacon, do what you are told, pretend you are happy and slip off to the nearest watering hole with the boys for a mutual complaining session -- but things ain't gonna change around the old homestead.

The Pope Is Wrong!

2007-07-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

I have debated about writing this post because I am afraid that it might offend someone, however, I must defend my faith even when attacked by someone of the statue of Benedict XVI. Those of you who know me well will tell you that the quickest way to "light my fuse" is for someone other than Jesus Christ to assert in essence that his or her church is the one and only church and salvation comes through it. (Paragraph 3) "I am the way and the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except by Me." John 14:6.

I would also say that I have the highest regard for the Catholic Church and those who truly profess the Catholic faith. Being Methodist I realize that my church is only two steps away from being Catholic. John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, was an Anglican priest and the Anglican Church came about as a result of a split from the Catholic Church in England in the sixth century under the papal reign of Gregory the Great.

For those of you who are unaware of where this is going, for the second time in a week Pope Benedict XVI has reasserted the primacy of the Roman Catholic Church by saying other Christian communities are either "defective or not true churches." The assertion goes on to say that "Protestant, Lutheran and other Christian denominations are not true churches but merely ecclesial communities and therefore did not have the "means of salvation." With all due respect it makes one wonder if Benedict's mitre might be a couple of sizes too small.

The assertion is further explained that other Christian communities "cannot be called 'churches' because they do not have apostolic succession -- the ability to trace their bishops back to Christ's original apostles -- therefore their priestly ordinations are not valid.

His Eminence might be reminded that there were papal successors of Peter who served as Christ's "emissaries" on earth with whom he might not want association, namely: Damascus I, Symmachus, Vigilius, Stephen VII, Julius III and even Pius XII. There are a number of other out of the over 260 who have served in the papacy whose characters have been said to be less than pure. A reading of the history of their services is quite an eye opener.

Great church leaders like Martin Luther, John Calvin, Ulrich Zwingli, John Wycliffe and others saw the wrongs committed within the Catholic Church and tried to right those wrongs to no avail. Luther was excommunicated by Leo X on January 3, 1521, and thence began the Protestant Reformation.

Church officials of varying Christian denominations have questioned the document and why the reassertion at this particular time. Despite the tone of the document it is said that Benedict remains committed to an ecumenical dialogue -- a rather strange method of encouraging an ecumenical movement within Christendom.

It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's A Lawn Chair!

2007-07-11T06:28:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I had heard about every crazy thing in the world, here comes Kent Couch from Bend, Oregon, who flew 193 miles in a lawn chair. Now that is something I have always had a hankering to do.

To accomplish his feat Couch attached 105 large helium-filled balloons to his lawn chair, and it's off into the wild blue yonder. He took with him some snacks (of course), a parachute (I would hope so), instruments to measure altitude and speed, a GPS device and four 5-gallon plastic bags of water for ballast.

The "lawn chairist" was planning to get as far east as Idaho but was forced to land shy of his goal after nearly nine hours in the air. "When you are a little kid, and you are holding a helium balloon, it has to cross your mind," Couch told a local newspaper. Maybe I have a different mind, but the idea never crossed mine.

The 41-year-old gas station owner got his idea from Larry Walters who in 1982 piloted his lawn chair three miles over Los Angeles. Walters surprised , if that is a stong enough verb, an airline pilot, who radioed the control tower that he had just passed a man in a lawn chair. Had I been the pilot I think that better judgement would have dictated me to look out the other window and let some other fool report the IFO. Walters was fined $1,500 for violating air traffic rules.

Couch told KTVZ-TV that the flight was "beautiful -- beautiful" and described it as mostly serene and peaceful. Then comes the forced landing when he had gotten down to 8 pounds of water ballast, and I suppose the snacks ran out. After he sort of crash landed, he jumped out, got some rope burns, and the wind grabbed the chair with the remaining balloons, and his video recorder and swept them away. Couch says that he's hoping to get them back before his next trip.

His wife Susan isn't sure if there will be a next time. She thinks that Couch has probably scratched that itch, and she's thinking of saying no.

A lawn chair can't be the most comfortable thing for that kind of ride. How about if one doubled or tripled the number of balloons and attached them to a La-Z-Boy? Something to mull over.

Some More Whacky News

2007-07-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

As you might have noted from past blogs, I love crazy and whacky news. There are some of the strangest people walking this planet -- it makes you appreciate that your close relationships are a little less dramatic -- or are they?

William Baumgartner, 86, has decided to drop charges against his wife, Kelly Campbell-Baumgartner, 47, denying that she stabbed him with a fork in a food fight altercation at a local restaurant.

Another diner has stepped into the fray and come forward with information substantiating the original charge by Mr. Baumgartner. Now the Canton, Michigan, Township police and the proscecutor's office in Wayne County have decided to file new charges. A judge has also agreed that there is enough evidence to bring Mrs. Campbell-Baumgartner up on felonious assualt charges, which upon conviction would land the loving wife in the big house for up to four years.

The witness testified that "She was waving her fork at him and yelling." He also stated that "She was taking food off his plate and flinging it at him." In her rampage she apparently nicked her husband's face with the fork and drew blood. Could the food possibly have been that bad?

On the witness stand Monday the aged Baumgartner insisted , "If I am the complaintant of this I have nothing to complain about" and "If I am the victim, I have nothing to be the victim of." But Judge Michael Rerou disagreed and said the the evidence warrants a trial.

The happy couple left the courtroom holding hands.

If Mr. Baumgartner, depending on the outcome of the trial, decides to continue this arrangement or if divorce is in the cards, I have some suggestions for him as to what he should have done or should do whatever happens:

1. Rethink this May-December marriage. Thirty-nine years stretches this May-December thing almost four decades.

2. Beware of marriage when the blushing bride inserts a hyphen on the signature line of the marriage license -- to wit Campbell-Baumgartner -- way too many letters anyway.

3. When going out to dinner with a less than stable spouce, ask the maitre d to seat you at opposite ends of a long table beyond reach of sharp objects.

4. Always order soft food -- no baked potatoes or hard rolls that could be used as missiles by an upset wife.

5. Or just stay home and take your chances.

Yall have a nice day.

What'll They Think Of Next?

2007-07-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, in my retiring years I have taken a position of "Showroom Consultant" in a plumbing sales establishment. In the two years that I have been here I have seen many advancements in the plumbing industry.

As a "Showroom Consultant" I feel it is my duty and perhaps one of my missions in life to make my customers and you aware of innovations in plumbing fixtures.

All of you have been in commercial enterprises where the restrooms are equipped with touchless lavatory faucets and commodes that flush themselves. There are faucets on the market that rise up out of counters and then go back after use. Some bathtubs have both air and water jets, remote controls, mood lights and seating for two. There is really no limit to what is coming down the plumbing pike.

But Thursday I was visited by a toilet seat rep, and I was completely blown away. She showed me an incredible new toilet seat that is beyond ones wildest dreams. It is a first, and I don't understand why someone hasn't thought about it before.

The unit consists of a regular seat with a soft-close lid, a charcoal filter, a pleasant-scent dispenser and two "D" batteries. It is probably going to retail for around $129.00 and probably cheaper when bought in quantities.

This ingenious concept is that the device sucks up undesirable odors, passing them through the charcoal and releasing them though the dispenser as "vanilla essence" or one of three other "flavors." This is absolutely incredible and should be a required fixture in every WalMart, restaurant, service state and any other public restroom in the country.

Imagine how an unplesant experience becomes enjoyable and instead of delaying some bodily function until you can rush home, you'll have no apprehension of going public.

Have a great weekend.

Yakety-Yak!

2007-07-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

I read yesterday and saw a report this morning on Fox of the most absurd thing I have recently read or heard.

A University of Arizona team has done some research on female vs male in the talking department. Many times it has been reported that the ratio in one full day of talking is about 20,000 words for the gals and 7,000 words for the guys -- almost three times as much gabbing on the lady side.

In my long experience I have found this assessement of talking ratio to being fairly close to accurate. I, for one, don't feel that I talk that much -- my motto in this area is "say what you intend to say and then shut up." Embellishment is not necessary if you made your comments clear and understandable the first time.

Now my house has always been filled with three women until Rob and Travis came into the picture and took two away. If my math is correct, using the 20,000 to 7,000 ratio, the talk around the old homestead should have been cut by 40.299% -- it wasn't. Melinda somehow picked up some of the slack.

This research team at Arizona, led by Matthias R. Mehl, an assistant professor of psychology, has shattered the "chatty gals and taciturn guys" stereotype. Can their study be on the mark, or have they just been smoking too much cactus?

According to the team's report, microphones were attached to almost 400 U. of A. students, and recordings were made of them for periods ranging from 2 to 10 days. Calulations were then made of the number of words spoken by each of the sexes.

Here's what these researchers, who should have received an "F" for the study, came up with:
Women 16,215 words compared to 15,669 for the men. A mere 546 words difference between the sexes.

Mehl said, "Still the idea that women use three times as many words as men has taken on the status of an urban legend."

I honestly think that the thesis of the research is flawed because they did not take into consideration what were the situations and circumstances of the individuals when they were wired. For instance, suppose the study was done with some of the ex-MSU students that I know.

Here's Caleb recounting in detail a game in 1952 with the New York Giants getting a scratch single scoring the winning run in the bottom of the ninth against the Brooklyn Dodgers while playing in a light drizzle with the temperature hovering around 40.

Or Rob explaining the gory successful extraction in the ER at Wake Forest of an entire place setting of silverware, including the seafood fork, from a body orfice.

Or Travis expounding upon finding an obscure Black musician singing Blues while blowing on a jug and strumming a washtub bass at some obscure music festival in an obscure town in the Delta.

These guys and lots of others can be kind of chatty about their passions, and this would skew the statistics.

On the other hand you might record Tricia, Amanda or Laurette when they have just gone through some traumatic emotional experience like losing their keys, and all they do is cry -- no talking -- just sobbing. This would skew the study as well.

In my many years, and I ain't no psychologist, I have learned a little something about the fairer sex. I have never met one that didn't like to talk, and most of them all at the same time. If you don't believe it, do your own research and stick a microphone in your house.

God Bless America

2007-07-05T06:55:00.000-07:00

Wow! Two serious blogs in row -- what is happening to me?

Yesterday we celebrated I believe the 231st anniversary of our Declaration of Independence from the tyranny of Great Britain, and this great and wonderful country was born.

What a wonderful document our forefathers wrote followed by a Constitution that was equally as brilliant. It would do all of us some good to read both of those every now and then to reaffirm our appreciation and respect for the principles upon which this country was founded and those who risked and gave their lives for our freedoms.

America as a nation is not perfect, but it is a damn sight more so than most. Because of our freedoms some of our citizens do and say things that many of us feel are un-American, but that is the strength of this country because we have the freedom to state what we think is wrong. If you weigh all of the bad against all of the good, the scales are definitely tipped very much to the good side.

I had the experience some 30 years ago of spending some time in Hungary, Yugoslavia and Bulgaria. This was before the collapse of the USSR's Iron Curtain. I don't think any of us would have liked to have lived under those conditions. For the most part those and other countries that were under Russian control are free today because of American efforts. We can be and have been a good force in the world as a super power, but our leaders sometimes lose sight of what we should be all about.

American history is full of heroes -- too many to mention -- men and women who fought on the battlefields of Europe and the Pacific and other places in the world to secure our and their freedoms from tyranny and oppression. Americans have taken to the streets in this country to arouse a nation to evils that have called for change. Leaders have spoken up in our state legislatures and in Congress against situations of unfairness that needed to be rectified. And we have made many of those changes and have become a better people for it. We still have problems and will continue to have them, but we look to those whom we have elected to have honest and sincere debates. This is where we the people need to become more vocal and insist that debates be held without rancor and meanspiritedness.

We are such a diverse nation -- a nation with people who have roots all over the world -- a nation with people of all political persuations. The diversity has contributed to our greatness. But we are America and we are Americans whatever our heritage -- somehow this must be instilled into our citizenry.

Be proud of America and be proud you are an American, but we all must try and make our voices heard when we see segments of our people trying to make this country something that our forefathers did not envision -- "they done good."

Now that is out of my system, so I can get back to the regular stuff.

Have a great day and God Bless America.

Disgusted and Fed Up

2007-07-03T07:21:00.000-07:00

Some of you will not appreciate nor agree with this blog, but there comes a time when views need to be expressed and hypocrisy must be exposed. I have always been a political person from the sidelines and have very definite and strong views. I do not hide from my views which tend to be to the right of the political spectrum. I make no apologies for my views, and I think that I am a very rational individual and respectful of other opinions. Respectful of those opinions if they can be substantuated and backed up with facts.

Yesterday (Monday) George Bush commuted the sentence of Lewis "Scooter" Libby who had been convicted of giving false statements and lying to a grand jury. A commutation differs from a pardon in that only Libby's prison sentence is effected -- his other penalties remain -- $250,000 fine and two years of probation.

As would be expected all Democrat candidates for president decried the action by the President and labeled charges at him from cronyism, disgraceful act, beyond the law and many others.

Libby's conviction has been controversial and suspect from the beginning. Some have labeled it as a "witch hunt" and that the special prosecuter had to have someone convicted to justify the expenditure of the investigation and subsequent trial. Early it was determined that Richard Armitage was the one who leaked CIA information, and it was not Libby who had been the one accused. Subsequently Libby was finally convicted of "giving false information and lying to a grand jury" -- remember that phrase, you will see it again.

One of those Democrats who cried out the loudest was Hillary Clinton, leading candidate for the Democrat nomination for president. My what a short memory she and the other Democrats have.

At the very end of Bill Clinton's adminstration he pardoned 140 criminals who had been indicted by grand juries and been convicted of various crimes including "importation of cocaine" -- "income tax evasion" -- "bank fraud" -- "mail fraud" -- "forgery of U.S. Treasury checks" and I could go on and on, but you should get the point. To my knowledge the Libby commutation is one of only a very few commutations and or pardons that GW has issued in his two terms. I'm sure that he will issue some pardons at the end of his second term, but I would challenge you to compare the criminal convictions of those individuals with those pardons given by Clinton.

As I said above, I would come back to "giving false information and lying to a grand jury." The much adored Bill Clinton was guilty of both of these charges on more than one occasion, however, he was never convicted because of the power of presidency. He, of course, was impeached but was never convicted. For those of you who do not know, impreachment means bringing of the charges -- then you are either conviced or not in a trial in the Senate.

I am so tired and disgusted with many of our political leaders of all persuasions who will do or say anything to get votes or obtain power. Our lawmakers are supposed to be enacting laws for the good of the American people and not playing a constant game of "gotcha."

Please, please do what you were elected to do or get out, go home and let someone else do the job. It is akin to watching a bunch of children on a playground -- grow up!

Why Not the Moon?

2007-07-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

For you who plan your vacations to exotic locals, A Vienna, Virginia, company is in negotiations with customers who will fly the first private expedition around the moon.

If, indeed, you are interested, there is no need to pack your bags yet, and you need to be informed that the price tag is going to be a cool $100 million. But not to worry you have time to raise the money for the very first flight is already booked. In case you had visions of a bus-load of happy, carefree passengers making this trip, my understanding is that there are acommodations for two passengers and a pilot. We would hope that nothing incapacitates the pilot on this little voyage of 238,000 miles -- one way.

The company, known as Space Adventures, is working with Russia's Soyuz spacecraft. No stranger to space, the Virginia company has already handled five private trips to the International Space Station -- all aboard the Soyuz and at a mere 2o to 25 million dollars each.

Eric Anderson, Space Adventures' president and CEO, says that sales are up in 2008 and 2009 for the short hops to the space station. "We're trying to talk to the Russian Space Agency about how to increase the numbers of Soyuz flights to the space station," Anderson says.

So if you cannot decide between the beach or the mountains this year, why not opt for the International Space Station or better yet a little swing around the moon -- depends on your budget. It will have to be a vacation only for you and your love -- no kids or dogs.

Or another possibility is that you might elect to send your mother-in-law on a nice trip to space for her birthday present. Depending on your relationship with her, you may or may not want to give her flight lessons for the Soyuz -- God forbid, something could happen to the pilot.

Weird and Stupid!

2007-06-29T06:16:00.000-07:00

Thought I might continue on today with the theme from the other day, "You Can't Fix Stupid." And I'll add to that "You Can't Fix Weird" either.

Have you looked around lately and observed all of the weird and/or stupid people in your workplace or that you might encounter on a regular basis?

Take a gander at these examples:

A man on a flight from New York to Greensboro, N.C., raised so much hell about the flight attendant being slow about getting him some apple juice that the pilot had to land in Philadelphia so the ignoramus could be dealt with by the authorities. Where was he when God handed out brains?

A woman was arrested Tuesday in Port St. Lucie, Florida, when her husband woke up complaining of a terrible headache and discovered, after she took him to the emergency room, he had been shot in the head. The wife says that she accidentally shot her husband behind the ear as he slept. Two things -- she needs to take a firearms course, and he needs to get a Beltone.

Michael Jackson has largely retreated to his bed rather than do any work. He will have to get out of bed soon because the lease runs out on the Vegas mansion tomorrow, and the owner is moving back. Where that leaves Michael is unclear -- on the street, I guess. Friends and family are "very worried" that he's drugged most of the time on prescription pain killers. I like my little Darvocet once in a while, but his pills must be a lot stronger. Now Michael is that case where you look up "weird" in the dictionary, and there is his picture.

A dentist in New York has been practicing his trade for over 30 years. Medicare/Medicaid is demanding some paperwork to substantiate a claim that he submitted. The dentist's claim states that he filled 52 cavities in one man's mouth in one day. You do the math.

One of our most favorite people, Britney Spears, has got to be about three or four bricks short of a load. She has more money than God and yet she reportedly wanted a DIY dye job. I remember when my Mom used to give herself "home perms." That was really pretty scary, and I'm sure that Britney's was as well. It is said that going from bleached to blackish is a recipe for disaster. In her DIY project the Brister somehow managed to pour the chemicals across her face. Her assistant (should be her keeper) had to go to a salon in the early morning hours to get some dye-removal solution. Why is it that she is so successful and yet so dumb?

Well, this sort of thing could just continue on and on. I want to start some sort of campaign to get rid of all of the weird and/or stupid people, but on second thought there would be too few of us left to run the planet.

Have a nice weekend.

Have You Seen Bigfoot?

2007-06-28T06:27:00.000-07:00

Researchers will visit Michigan's Upper Peninsula this summer in search of "Bigfoot" or "Sasquatch." The legendary creature most experts consider to be a combination of folklore and hoaxes has dated back centuries. But some authors and researchers do believe that some of the stories could be true.

The organization sponsoring the Bigfoot search is the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization (BFRO). Do you suppose we know any card-carrying members of this group?

Matthew Moneymaker, a member of BFRO, said, "We'll be looking for evidence supporting a presence. . . .We hope to meet local people who might have seen a Sasquatch or heard of someone else who has had an encounter." Of course this is quite a ways from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, but I knew some good ole boys from around Montpelier, Mississippi, who were coonhunting and swore that they saw something really, really big in the woods, and it had nothing to do with the moonshine whiskey they were drinking. Moneymaker might try and track one of them down.

BFRO investigators claim that in 30 expeditions in the United States and Canada, in but three of those, Bigfoot has been briefly seen or they have gotten close enough to hear the creature. They didn't mention it, but I have read that Bigfoot also carries a teriffic odor, and it ain't Evening in Paris either.

The late Dr. Grover Krantz, a scientist and Washington State University professor whose field was cryptozoology (did they have that major at State?), believed that Bigfoot is a "gigantopithecus." You've got to be big to carry a name like that. Krantz said the gignatopithecus is a branch of primitive man thought to have existed 3 million years ago. Cryptozoology is defined as the "study of creatures that have not been proven to exist." By definition then I suppose that Krantz and his fellow cryptozoologists also studied Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Toothfairy.

I think that I got a glimpse of Sasquatch in the Olive Branch WalMart the other day. In fact, speaking of Wallyworld, the OB WalMart has been renovated and benches placed thoughout the store, so I can now sit and watch examples of mankind's finest specimens, practice my Spanish, promise myself I will never get fat and maybe, just maybe see an occasional Bigfoot.

You Can't Fix Stupid

2007-06-27T06:11:00.000-07:00

Ron White, one of my favorite standup comedians, coined the line, "You Can't Fix Stupid," and it is true -- you absolutely can't.

Case in point: A grieving daughter, whose father had passed away, goes to the Los Angeles parking authority to obtain permits to park for those attending the funeral. She could not resist laughing, even in her sorrow, when she was told by the clerk that she could not issue a permit without a letter signed by him.

You can't fix stupid!

Web Walters, my nephew, furnished me with the following examples. Some of you may have received them by e-mail -- they do, however, bear repeating.

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned out when he ran" accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

You can't fix stupid!

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime in Washington, D.C., appeared to be the robber's first (and last) due to his lack of a previous record of violence and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather and Firearms -- a gunshop specializing in handguns.

2. The shop was full of customers -- firearms customers.

3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.

4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before going on duty.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a targer pistol. The officer and clerk promptly returned fire, assisted by several customers who drew their guns and fired.

The robber was pronounced dead at the scene. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases, and the subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds to the perpetrator. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons, and no one else was hurt in the barrage.

You can't fix stupid!

My personal favorite: Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, N.J., and his wife, Bonnie, was also injured. It seems as though the Stillers were driving around about 2:00 in the morning when they got the bright idea that they would light the quarter stick of dynamite they were carrying in the car and throw it out the window just to see what would happen. It was too late when they realized the windows in the car were up.

You can't fix stupid!

And finally this one is not to be read at dinnertime but here goes. An overzealous zookeeper, Friedrich Riesfeldt of Paderborn, Germany, fed his constipated elephant, Stefan, 22 doses of animal laxative along with more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged up pachyderm let it fly. Had Riesfeldt not been at the moment trying to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema, he would not have been buried under an avalanche of 200 pounds of poop. The sheer force of the explosion knocked the doomed zookeeper to the ground whereupon he cracked his head on a rock and lay unconscious. Unfortunately he was under the mountain of dung too long to survive before he was discovered.

Stupidity just cannot be fixed -- don't even try.

Aren't we glad we are smart and don't do stupid things -- or do we?

Did You Celebrate "Leon Day?"

2007-06-26T06:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, June 25th, was "Leon Day" as pointed out in freakonomics.com/blog. Thanks to Caleb for telling me about this site -- there is usually some good stuff there.

Freakonomics got the Leon Day thing from ButlerWebs' Holiday Guide. Leon is Noel spelled backwards, and it is now exactly six months until Christmas. The holiday is also known to some as 1/2Xmas,

I'm not too wild about the 1/2Xmas thing -- I never liked Xmas for Christmas. But I think "Leon" is kinda nice, and who couldn't use another holiday. I would put on one of those turban-looking things and a robe and celebrate Ramadan if my boss would believe that I had converted to Islam. I'll do anything for a day off -- lie, cheat and/or steal.

Holidays are fantastic, and I am going to start a petition to send to our esteemed and mostly ineffectual "lawmakers" in Washington that all national holidays be moved to either Monday or Friday. Three-day weekends would abound on the calendar -- and what's greater than a three-day weekend but a four-day weekend?

We would have to keep Thanksgiving on Thursday, so we get off both Thursday and Friday. Only a real nasty boss would make one come back on Friday after Thanksgiving. This would have to be explained carefully and slowly to our "lawmakers", or they will screw it up.

Back in my younger days I had a friend, Jimmy Devers, when I lived in Amory, Mississippi. Jimmy's mom would always put big letters in their picture window spelling "NOEL" for the Christmas season, and he would always change the letters to "LEON." It would take her a few days to notice the change. He did it every year and sometimes several times during the holiday season -- you would think that she would have caught on after three or four times.

Devers was one before his time -- he might have invented "Leon Day", and never knew it albeit he had the day about six months late.

So a belated and happy Leon's Day. Let's remember to celebrate in style next year.

Can't Spell Brake

2007-06-25T11:08:00.001-07:00

Note in the previous post about Charlie "brake" is spelled incorrectly -- just caught it and didn't want you to think that I wasn't as smart as Charlie.

Charlie's In Trouble

2007-06-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

Most of you have pets. I have seen some of you post pictures of your beloved puppies and dogs. And you know, if you read about QT, I have Floyd the cat. Most all of us are crazy about our pets, and we usually think that they have more than above average intelligence. In fact, some of them are downright smart.

Dogs that fetch newspapers and slippers, roll over and play dead, ring the doorbell to get in the house, watch and protect the babies and toddlers, TV fans who watch the boob tube all day long (I have a friend who has one of these dogs) are fairly common.

But probably the smartest dogs of all are those who read the signs on the post office and other government buildings that say "only seeing eye dogs allowed."

David Letterman features that segment of his show on stupid pet tricks. So there are a lot of smart pets out there -- we can agree on that.

How many of them drive cars? That's without a license, of course.

Charlie, a black lab, is in a whole heap of trouble for driving his master's Chevy Impala in the the Pend Oreille River in Idaho. Mark Ewing, the owner of Charlie and the ugly car, just returned home from picking up a pizza, and as he walked to the house Charlie jumped though the open window of the auto and apparently knocked the gearshift into neutral whereupon the car rolled down an incline and splash into the river and sank.

Charlie, being the smart dog he is, jumped out of the window before inpact with the water. Do you suppose Charlie was a little pissed at not getting some sort of dog chow pizza and this was his way of getting back at Mark?

"There's nothing weirder that looking at your car cruising down your driveway when you are not in it and seeing your dog jump out and then watching your car go splash," Ewing said.

It gets a little funnier when the wrecker redneck shows up to retrieve the waterlogged Impala.
I can just picture him as somebody like Goober or Gomer. He asks Mark to hold his false teeth, and he dives into the river to hook up the cable. What else would you expect from somebody working for "Clyde's Tow Service?"

"My car's in the drink, I got dentures in my hand, and this guy Keith goes swimming," Ewing noted.

There is a lesson here -- that little-used emergency break in your automobile has a purpose.

What The Heck Is That?

2007-06-23T04:20:00.000-07:00

I just got some fodder on a subject that is close to my heart -- UFO's. This comes from someone who stays awake listening to Coast to Coast A.M. with George Noory weeknights and Art Bell on weekends. This greatest radio show of all times blasts through the airwaves from 10:00 p.m. 'til 4:00 a.m. on WREC in Memphis. I pray that it is never taken off the air -- if it is just get me ready to meet my Maker.

Coast to Coast A.M., for those of you who are not avid listeners, covers topics varying from the Roswell, New Mexico, UFO crash in the '40's to time travel, alien abduction, black holes, parallel universes and all that good stuff.

I have one of those pillow speakers so that the radio will not keep Melinda awake as I cat nap through the six-hour show. It may surprise some of you that I am into all of this pseudo-science and science fiction, but I am going to have a leg up on most of you when the aliens take over the planet -- I will know what to expect and how best to combat the situation.

Now to the subject of this latest UFO sighting.

One of the largest unidentified flying objects ever reported was recently observed by the crew and passengers on a British airliner over the Channel Islands. Aurigny Airlines captain Ray Bowyer, 50, spotted the object while flying near Alderney and described it as "a cigar-shaped brilliant white light."

As the aircraft got closer to the UFO, Captain Bowyer observed it through binoculars and further described it as a very sharp, thin yellow object with a green area. "It was 2,000 feet up and stationary. I thought it was about 10 miles away, although I later realized it was approximately 40 miles from us. At first, I thought it was the size of a Boeing 727, but it could have been as much as a mile wide." He also saw a similar object further to the west.

The sighting was also confirmed by some of the passengers, an unnamed pilot with the Blue Islands Airline and by a Tri-Lander aircraft flying near Alderney. Most sightings that I have read about have not been nearly this large -- whatever this was, it was bigger than huge.

I don't know your feelings on UFO's, but I can only say that there have been many, many unexplained sightings for far too many years by reputable individuals. There have also been many crazies who have seen lots of things in the heavens as well.

I personally have never seen anything that I could not explain or identify, nor have I been abducted, examined by short grey aliens with big almond-shaped eyes and had a chip imbedded in my body. But I cannot deny that strange things are evidently happening in this infinite universe where we are privileged to occupy a teeny tiny spot.

Are we alone?

Gratitude, Love, Faith and Hope

2007-06-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share something with you that I read in Sam Shaw's website. Sam, as some of you know who are from the Memphis area, was the former pastor at Germantown Baptist. Sam is now in Tupelo as senior pastor at Hope Church -- renamed from First Evangelical.

Anyway here it is:

GRATITUDE is about the past and present.
LOVE is about the present.
FAITH is about the present and future.
HOPE is about the future.

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently."
Romans 8:24-25

May God bless you all.

Wow! What A Meal!

2007-06-22T07:03:00.000-07:00

We all should stop what we are doing and have a moment of silence today in remembrance of Bob Evans, who passed away from complications of pneumonia at the age of 89. Bob, as many of you know, was the founder of Bob Evans Restaurants. I do not want you to think that I am making light of anyone's life or death, but Bob needs to be remembered as an icon of American
cuisine.

Bob became famous for his sausage, which is still sold in many supermarkets today. According to the news report, he started with $1,000, a couple of hogs, 40 pounds of black pepper, 50 pounds of sage and some secret ingredients. Now that is a recipe that I can make at home. He, it is said, relied on the best parts of the hog as opposed to the scraps commonly used in sausage.

I carefully read Bob's obituary, but nowhere did I find that he was the inventor of "mystery meat." When you were in elementary and high school, you all were introduced in the cafeteria to an unidentifiable substance they called meat. Sometimes it was covered with a gravy-like stuff. Remember?

Well Bob turned this invention, the cornerstone of his menu, into a restaurant empire with sales of $1.6 billion with almost 600 restaurants in 18 states. And some of you were wondering how you could be successful in life. Bob showed us the secret with his restaurants -- start with nothing, discover or invent something that is also nothing and convince millions that they like this nothing.

If you have an uncontrolable desire to eat at a Bob Evans, look for a red brick building with white trim and the yellow "Bob Evans" name, reflecting Evans' handwriting, at the top of the building. One thing you can say, Bob had good penmanship. Order the country-fried steak -- you can opt for white or brown gravy, only the color distinguishes them -- a side dish of mashed potatoes that have never seen the soil of Idaho -- either green peas or baby carrots or have them mixed, and you have got yourself a meal that you will never forget. Thanks Bob!

Side Note: I have found that two or three Bob Evans in the Memphis area have closed their doors -- wonder why? Could it be that Memphians are maybe "gourmet lite?"

Coffee, Tea or ________?

2007-06-21T12:14:00.000-07:00

Airline passengers who endured a two-day trans-Atlantic odyssey with sewage overflowing from stopped up toilets have received an apology from Continental Air Lines for "poor conditions."

Talk about an understatement!

However, understatement is usually the rule of thumb when commercial enterprises are forced to make apologies for poor service, inferior products, "poor conditions" and the like.

According to what one passenger told television station KING in Seattle, only one of the restrooms was partially working. The passenger also said that the flight attendants kept serving meals, while sewage was flowing in the aisles, but told the passengers not to eat too much -- as if anyone could. The rational must have been "less food consumption, less bathroom activity."

Apparently the problem arose on a flight from Amsterdam to Newark on June 13, but it only got as far as Shannon, Ireland, to stop for "repairs." The flight resumed the next day but on the leg from Shannon to Newark the "problem" arose again. Upon landing in Newark it was determined that the cause of the "problem" was that someone had attempted to flush latex gloves.

Most of the time one can just walk away from unpleasant situations, but need I say that this was a problem from which one could not walk away without a parachute. I digress, but this kind of reminds me of the movie about snakes on a plane. I cannot fathom anyone wanting to see that movie.

I remains to be seen what action some passengers might take or what Continental does when it finally realizes that "poor conditions" does not adequately cover this situation.

On your next flight there are three questions that must be asked before one gets on a plane, "What are the conditions of your lavatories?" "Are there any doctors, nurses, clean freaks or anyone else who may have packed latex gloves?" and "Are you carrying any snakes?"

Enjoy your next flight.

News You Might Have Missed

2007-06-20T13:16:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to get back into the saddle after having been away from this blog for a few days. And I have been a little busy at work, so I don't have as much time to spend with my blog. Don't you hate it when work interferes with pleasure?

Three things that I read tucked away in the insides of the newspapers I found to be quite interesting, so I will share them with you.

Tomoji Tanabe, 111, of Japan has been declared the world's oldest man by the Guinness Book of World Records. Tanabe received the title when Emiliano Mercado del Toro (isn't that some kind of bull in Spanish?) of Puerto Rico died at the age of 114. Ironically, the women's record holder, Yone Minagawa at 114, is also from Japan.

I saw a picture of Tanabe, and it's hard to resist the joke of saying that he doesn't look a day over 95, but really he looked pretty good for 111. I not sure how one would feel about being the oldest man or woman in the world. Mr. Tanabe apologized for living so long.

When asked about the key to his longevity, he said that he had refrained from the use of alcohol all of these years -- that 111 years probably seems like 222 to him. It's hard to believe that he never even drank sake. His neighbors said that he ate a lot of veggies and few fried foods.

But before long I will read about Mr. Tanabe passing on, and his obit will say that he died of boredom.

The second newspaper article reported that an 8-foot-long 170 pound alligator was removed Sunday from the home of a reptile enthusiast in Buffalo, New York. The man raised the gator from birth and when it grew too large for its cage, he built a bigger cage but finally had to turn him loose in the basement, albeit he had the basement fixed up nice for the reptile. A rattlesnake was also confiscated from the premises, but some 20 odd other reptiles were left with the man. This man has no hope of breaking Mr. Tanabe's record.

There was no mention of a Mrs. or girlfriend, and I think that I can understand why. His choice of roommates makes one wonder about his social skills.

And finally, three-century-old manuscripts by Sir Isaac Newton are being exhibited to the public this week for the first time. Newton, considered by many to be the world's greatest scientist, had a little-known passion for religion. He studied the Bible extensively and especially the Book of Daniel.

One of his purposes of Bible study was to try and determine when the world would end -- not so much as to set an exact time but to hush the naysayers of the day who were predicting the end at any time.

After all of his study, Newton concluded that the end of the world would come not before 2069. If Sir Isaac has gotten the date pretty close most of the people who read this will not break Mr. Tanabe's longevity record. However it is possible that I could roll in there at about 129. And they would say that Old John wore out -- he sure as hell didn't rust out.

Yall have a great day.

I'm Back

2007-06-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

Just a note to say that I am back from the Great Smokey Mountains, and I wasn't eaten by a bear even though I did see a momma and two cubs not far off the deck of the cabin.

When I left on Sunday there had apparently been no fights nor disagreements -- I had to check and make sure I was with the Walters' clan.

All were having a great time, and my two beautiful daughters, Amanda and Laurette, and my very, very wonderful and beautiful granddaughter, Mary Peyton, were in all their splendor. Do I deserve such girls?

Got to go -- am busy today, but I did want to check in. Wishing all of you well.

Blog Is Going To Rest For A Few Days

2007-06-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

For the next few days I probably will not have access to a computer as I head to the Great Smokies for the First Annual or maybe First and Last Annual Walters' Family Retreat. I suppose it will depend on how much some of the party is verbally abused as to the future of this outing.

I am most worried about how Amanda and Laurette will act. Those of you who know them know that they are kind of on the wild side. Their Mom and I messed up in their rearing. It is our hope that Rob and Travis can control them to some extent.

See yall Monday, I guess, if I don't get eaten by a bear, and thanks for reading and your comments.

Indians -- Not The Ones I Remember

2007-06-14T07:05:00.000-07:00

Was reading that the Mississippi Band of Choctaws, almost 10,000 strong and living on 35,000 acres around Philadelphia, are having an election to select a chief. Phillip Martin, current chief, is trailing in the vote tally to Beasley Denton. Sounds to me like a couple of good ole boys in the runoff for supervisor in District 5 or any county in Mississippi.

But Whoa! Wait a minute. When I was a kid and played cowboys and Indians, and a couple of us wanted to be the Indians, we didn't say, "Hey, you be Phillip, and I'll be Beasley." Whatever happened to names like Running Bear, Crippled Horse, Soaring Eagle and the like? The Lone Ranger's sidekick wasn't named Homer.

I'll bet they don't go around half naked, galloping spotted ponies and riding round and round the settlers' circled wagons anymore either. What is this country coming to?

But you know after having been persecuted, conned out of their land and certainly sometimes killed, the Choctaws and their Indian kin have found a way to exact revenge on the White Man -- CASINOS.

They are laughing all of the way to the bank and deservedly so. Who would have ever thought that one could go to Philadelphia, Mississippi, stay in a first-class hotel, eat in a four-star restaurant, play golf on championship courses and after your stay head home with maybe enough money for gas?

This time the Indians win -- puts a new perspective on the White Man's greed and lack of respect for his red brothers.

Next time I play cowboys and Indians, I am going to be Phillip or Beasley -- whichever one wins.

Sometimes this blog makes a little social comment, but bear with me and agree if you choose.

An Apology -- Probably Not

2007-06-13T10:54:00.000-07:00

It has been brought to my attention by one Robert Martin Marble, MD (my esteemed son-in-law whose wife will not even take his medical advice) that I uttered a "bald-faced lie" and that my blog is the internet equivalent of the National Enquirer in spreading falsehoods and gossip.

Dr. Rob, if I have offended you in any way and do not have my facts correct about your relationship with QT the cat, then I do apologize. However, I have picked up an ally in my defense. Your own sister, Olivia, commented on the QT blog and posted said comment on June 13 at 10:01 a.m.

Quoting Olivia, "QT will always be remembered in the hearts of many (Even in Rob's heart!).

Dr. Marble, I would say that the score is 2 to 1, and I doubt that you will get ANYONE who knows you and QT to support your claim of no love for the cat.

I rest my case.

Lover Not A Fighter

2007-06-13T09:36:00.000-07:00

Somehow Fox News online comes up with some of the weirdest and craziest news stories that I usually don't find from too many other sources.

Just yesterday Fox reported about a "Love Bomb." The Air Force has confirmed that in 1994 a military researcher requested $7.5 million to develope a non-lethal "Love Bomb" which would chemically alter the state of mind of the enemy troops and make them want to have sex with one another rather than fight.

Brings on a whole new meaning to "I'm a lover not a fighter." I am not making this stuff up. Paul Harvey including it in his radio broadcast this morning -- how legitimate a source can one have?

An Air Force spokeswoman, a Lt. Col. Cathy Reardon (I didn't make up the name) said that the idea was proposed by a researcher at a lab at Brooks Air Force Base in Texas -- apparently a researcher with way too much time on his hands.

If a chemical can be made that truly would alter a soldier's state of mind and make him or her do things they normally would not do, think of the possibilities of making other kinds of mind-altering bombs.

Of course if you can make a "Love Bomb" conversely a "Hate Bomb" could be produced, but that would defeat the non-lethal and non-violent premise of the "Love Bomb."

Then how about a "Just A Little Fond Of You" bomb in which case the enemy soldiers would stop fighting, but our military guys and gals would not have to witness a complete breakdown of heterosexuality.

There are literally hundreds of possibilities of mind-altering bombs, but time and space constraints are going to limit me to just a few suggestions.

How about a "Hilliary Clinton" bomb where the enemy would have an overpowering urge to go vote -- for anyone else other than her.

"I'm A Rachael Ray Making A 30-Minute Meal" bomb. I can hear those mess kits and canteens clanging along with a chorus of voices screaming, "I'm good to go." However this one can become a violent confrontation if the EVOO runs out. You have to be a Rachael Ray fan to completely understand this one.

You could have a "Dance The Cha Cha" of any other dance bomb. That would be a sight to see, and army dancing 'til it drops.

Probably the best one of all would be an "AWOL" bomb. In this case there would not be an enemy to fight since they have all deserted and left the battlefield.

Rather than shelve this idea, I really think that the military researchers should pursue this type of military device. A number of years ago a bomb called the "neutron bomb" was discussed. With this bomb the people would be killed but no property damaged -- the mind-altering bomb is much better -- people and countries need to become less apt to jump into war.

So the next time someone says to you, "I am a lover, not a fighter" ask them about their military service.

Have a good day (as Paul Harvey would say)

A Tale And A Tail Of A Cat

2007-06-12T12:22:00.001-07:00

I'm a little not busy right now, so I think I will go ahead and post tomorrow's blog.

Those of you who read this blog have read where I mentioned Floyd the cat. He or she, I don't know which, is my current feline pet and a great one, I might add.

But Floyd had a predecessor, the infamous QT. I don't whether Amanda or Laurette named him, but QT was short for quetip(sp). He was a white cat with an orange tip on his tail.

From the time that QT was born, I knew he was going to be an unusually smart cat and a loving cat. I taught him to roll over like a dog when I snapped my fingers, and he had rather have his belly rubbed than to eat.

QT was a roamer and a fighter. He didn't back down from anything up to and including a saber-tooth tiger. He certainly didn't win all of his battles, but he came out the top cat more often than not. He would come home, lick his wounds for a couple of days and be back at it again.

We thought if we got him "fixed" he would settle down a little. So off to see Carol Crawford, DVM. In performing her surgery, and by all accounts she was a good vet, Dr. Carol apparently missed the "lust" and "prowl" cords. Upon his recovery QT was back to his old tricks.

When we left Aberdeen and moved to an apartment in Memphis, there was no place for QT. Amanda, reluctantly I think, agreed to move QT to the capital city to the complete dismay of Rob. Rob bitched , screamed and moaned, but we all know who has the final say in that household. Rob came to love QT, but he will never admit it.

Well, here goes Amanda down Highway 25 headed for Jackson and QT is in a box on the passenger side. He is growling like a cornered alley cat, and Amanda in trying to calm him, let her foot get just a little heavy, and that old black Taurus cruised on at about 20 mph over the speed limit -- at least that was what the highway patrolman said -- we'll have to take his word for it. But that's another story.

QT took right to the urban life there on Sheffield Drive in Jackson and began to expand his horizons. In his wanderings he found a slutty female feline and brought her home to show to the family. Rob was very unhappy once again, but QT insisted that Snape, as she became to be known, was his one and only true love, and he wanted her as his concubine.

Snape would bathe QT, and they would lie in the sun snuggled together. I even have a picture of them asleep with QT's arm (leg and paw) around her. Snape was never one to get to close to the humans around the house.

Then came time for Amanda, Rob and little Mary Peyton to leave for Winston-Salem, and QT and Snape were going to be homeless.

By that time Melinda and I were living in our house in Olive Branch with a six-foot fence around the back yard -- like that would make a difference to a cat. So I transport QT and Snape to OB, and neither were too thrilled about the trip. I kept them locked up and fed and watered for a couple of days and let them out. Snape was like a cruise missile honing in on the top of that back yard fence -- over and gone -- ner to be seen again.

QT hung around for a few days eating and lounging in one of the patio chairs undoubtly dreaming of his days and nights with Snape. One afternoon he just walked away without saying goodbye, kiss my butt or anything -- just left. But I have no hard feelings knowing that he gave me years of love.

Not long after QT's unheralded departure Floyd shows up out of the blue and stays. Floyd has a ring around his tail. I know that God sent me Floyd because he did not want me to be too sad for too long.

Bon Voyage, QT!

Why Al Gore And I Ain't Best Buds

2007-06-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

Regardless of your politics, Al Gore and his relentless campaign to convince us of global warming and the impending destruction of life on earth as we know it, forces me to point out how these scare tactics will effect our everyday lives. To wit, take notice of the following:

1. Ethanol Boon May Lead To Tequila Shortage

Because of the global warming crowd's insistence that we get away from the use of fossil fuels, Mexican farmers are setting afire fields of blue agave, the cactus-like plant used to make tequila, to make room for corn fields. Soaring U.S. demand for ethanol has pushed up the price dramatically. It is predicted that there will be 25-35% less agave available this year.

2. Corn For Ethanol Will Lead To Drop In Production Of Tortillas

Production of more corn but using so much of it for ethanol will mean less corn for tortillas and for the Mexican food devotee a shortage of most all Latin foods because they have a tortilla base.

3. Europeans Stop Growing Food, Start Producing Biofuels

The rapid conversion of fields that produced wheat and/or barley to biofuels is already leading to shortages of ingredients for making pasta and beer.

4. Neptune Is Getting Warmer

Neptune is now the fartherest planet from the sun -- Pluto having been relegated to only a dwarf planet. I suppose it doesn't count if you are a dwarf. To our knowledge, there has been no industrialization out at Neptune in recent times. There has been no buildup of greenhouse gases, no deforestation, not rapid urbanization, no increase in contrails from jet planes and no increase in ozone in the atmosphere, and yet the temperature of Neptune has been on the steady increase since 1980. Could one reason for the warming be solar output?

If I did more research I could come up with some other reasons not to buddy up with Big Al. Did I mention his dopey looks and brain of a gnat?

And because of Big Al's worldwide crusade on global warming we are going to have a shortage of tequila and a much more expensive tequila if we can get it. Look for bar orders for virgin margaritas to skyrocket -- you get much of the taste but little of the kick.

Fewer tortillas will lead to the closing of many Mexican restaurants resulting in our having to drive more than a half mile to dine on Latin food. More Hispanics will be out of work and our less than intelligent Senators and Congressmen/women will have to try and deal with that.

A shortage of pasta and European beer is about the icing on the cake. What are we going to order at Olive Garden -- spaghetti sauce and a straw? Forget about that great tasting dark German and Dutch beers and ales and get used to guzzling down some Bud and Miller Lite.

Then we have the Neptune issue. This is going to make Neptune a less than a desirable vacation spot -- everybody has been to Disney World except the Clarks.

Meanwhile Big Al, you and Tipper keep living in that big house using all that TVA power partially made from fossil fuel and flying in that big jet using all that fossil fuel while you are hawking that Oscar-winning documentary and new book of yours. And we peons out here will drink less tequila and European beer, eat less pasta and Mexican food and shelve our dreams of a vacation to Neptune.

We 'preciate you Big Guy?

No News Is Good News -- I Guess

2007-06-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

There is just not much to write about in this blog today. Everybody on the planet knows that Paris is still in the clink, the MSU Dawgs are going to hightail it to Omaha this week, the Ole Miss Rebels are going to dragtail it back to Oxford after losing two straight to the Sun Devils of Arizona State, the Sopranos ended with a climax that nobody liked (I don't have HBO, so I have never watched except for one time at Amanda's), the Iraq war is still going on, Hillary is still saying that faith led her through her turmoils in her White House years, and you know what Bill is still saying, and I am slaving over this blog everyday and nobody reads it. I know that yall don't have time to write in your own blog, but what has happened to your reading ability?

The Walters' Clan (I am part of this bunch only through marriage) is headed to Gatlinburg this Friday for about six days of rest, relaxation, dissatisfaction and argument. I can guarantee that some of the clan will have a problem with some or all of the following: the accomodations, the food or lack of food, the weather, the lack of bears or the prethora of bears and whatever -- you add to the list.

Amanda's and Laurette's grandfather, Mert, will come having rather been on his way to Omaha and most likely the cabin will not have ESPN as a TV choice. This will certainly add to the "unhappiness" that will be evident to all.

I am the lucky one in that I have to work next week and will motor back to Olive Branch on Sunday. My Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of next week will be spent in quiet places -- my home and workplace. I will have no one to argue with except Floyd the cat, and he sleeps 24/7.

Tomorrow is a red letter day for me in that I will have a birthday. I never cease to be amazed that I am living this long since I was in my twenties in the sixties -- a really wild decade. Well anyway I have made it this far, and Laurette, Amanda and Melinda have not had me committed and certified as crazy, so they can share in my vast fortune.

Everybody have a great day, and I hope to have more for you tomorrow.

How 'Bout Dem Dawgs!

2007-06-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

OMAHA BOUND!

After the SEC tournament nobody gave Ron Polk and his Diamond Dawgs much of a chance to go any further toward the College World Series. But baseball folk began to take notice when in the Florida State Regional the Dawgs cleaned the Seminoles' plow -- a little A&M reference there -- get it -- cleaned plow. Oh well, I digress.

After Larry Templeton withdrew the MSU bid to host a Regional, he quickly resubmitted our little old application to offer Polk-Dement as a site for a Super Regional. The NCAA, perhaps remembering times when we had packed houses for regional tourneys, decided the Bullies deserved the honor of hosting Clemson rather than our traveling to that little A&M institution.

And Dawgs fans responded with their big and little butts sitting and sweating in those bleachers, setting an all-time Super Regional attendance mark on Friday and breaking that record on Saturday. There was some cooking going on in that Left Field Lounge, and there was some Dawg cooking going on on the diamond or rather some Tiger cooking as it turned out.

I had three TV's on ESPN in the house, and Jim Ellis was a guest in my backyard -- not really, but I am sure that the neighbors enjoyed his broadcast of the game and had no problem hearing the game on my outside radio. Nobody was home but I -- Melinda was in Aberdeen and Oxford and points south -- more about that later. Anyway, there was no one with whom I could celebrate. So the victory party was limited to me, Floyd my cat and a bottle of Tilburg's Dutch Brown Ale. The three of us should get together more often.

Now I am in a quandry. At this writing the mighty Rebels are 0-1 in their quest for a CWS berth. I have mixed emotions. On the one hand I don't want anything good to ever happen to Ole Miss, and on the other it would be nice if by some quirk of fate, the Dawgs could meet them one more time for all of the marbles.

I suppose I shouldn't dislike them so, so much since they do represent our great state as well, but in all my years on this planet and being a Dawg fan, I have just about gotten my craw full of the Rebels. I don't like Ole Miss. I don't like Oxford -- even though I have enjoyed a few John Grisham novels. I don't even like Lafayette County. Melinda, as I mentioned above, was in Oxford yesterday afternoon and upon her return to the confines of DeSoto County, I made her hose off before I would let her in the house. I can take no chances of Ole Miss infestation in my house. Maybe I am a little overboard, but I bet there are some out there who dislike them much, much more.

Anyway, best of luck to the Dawgs next weekend. We will either play North Carolina or South Carolina, depending on who wins that Super Regional.

It's great to be a DAWG!

Please, please Sylvester take notice.

One really gets the feeling that the glory days may be back -- at least the Bullies are one of the eight best college baseball teams in the country. Of course you all know that this will be the 8th CWS for State and the first appearance since 1998.

Say What?

2007-06-09T03:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever imagined that you were an immigrant to the United States, and you were having to learn English as a second language?

I'm not multilingual and have no idea the idioms that are found in other languages, but speaking the American version of English, I can believe the difficulty for one learning the language to understand what we Americans are sometimes saying.

Being an English teacher of some years ago, I am facinated by our use of the language and how so many idioms have found their way into our speech. A case in point -- "knock on wood, but I think I've got my mojo working if I don't go to hell in a handbasket, but I could be in like Flynn or get caught with my pants down." Say what? Normally one would not string a whole bunch of these idioms together, but you see what happens when one does.

I started thinking about this idiom business as I was reading about George Bush being a "lame duck" President. That actually came from 18th century England and referred to a stockbroker who defaulted on his debts. Quite a stretch, but it was first used in the U.S. to describe President James Buchanan's lack of action in the Confederate States' secession.

Buchanan was probably not "sharp as a tack" nor "smart as a whip." He just wanted to "let sleeping dogs lie."

How about "don't try to teach your grandma to suck eggs" -- got any idea what that means?

Of course we have all heard of "flip the bird"-- "cute as a bug's ear"-- "clean as a whistle"-- "three sheets to the wind"-- "apple of my eye"-- "close but no cigar"-- "excuse my French"-- "getting down to brass tacks"-- "high on the hog" and the list goes on and on. We can scarcely speak a dozen sentences without introducing one or more idioms, but it does make our language much more interesting.

Well I'm going "back to square one" with this "cock and bull story" and see if I can "get my s... together." Now that is colorful language.

Poor, Poor Paris

2007-06-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

Just read in the news online that Paris has been sent back to the bighouse kicking, screaming and crying. Apparently the judge was a little peeved at the turn of events in that he gave her the whole 45 days instead of the 22 or 23 she initially got.

One blogger I read said that there should be a moratoriam on mentioning the names of Paris Hilton and Osama Bin Laden by any media venue for a whole year..... unless they got married to each other and then all bets were off.

Mary Winkler, on the other hand, looks as if she may spend less time in jail than Paris. The judge gave her 3 years with 210 days to be served and the remainer on probation. Plus she gets to count the 5 months she has already been locked up. If she goes to a mental facility, my understanding is that she can spend up to 60 days there ..... bingo! you are down to "0". Ain't justice grand?

Now here would be a perfect time to bring up O. J. Simpson and his brush with the justice system. He hacks two people to death and walks away a free man. Go figure.

Here's what it boils down to ..... you can brutally murder two people and get off scott free or you can shoot your no good husband in the back and get 210 days or you can violate your parole on a traffic violation and get 45 days. Seems as though we need to get a little consistency in the matter of jurisprudence in this country. Be that as it may, we still live in the greatest country on earth, and we can live with some quirky justice as long as we are not standing in front of the bench listening to the bailiff say, "Here come de judge."

2007-06-05T07:17:00.001-07:00

Setting up this blog has really been a pain in the b..., but maybe I finally have it done. I am beginning to believe that you really cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I am counting on Laurette to dress up the site a little with perhaps some pictures or nice fonts, headings etc.

I am trying to do this while waiting on customers who want to buy a commode or some other plumbing fixture. It's really funny in that all of our commodes are named -- the Drake, the Clayton, the Promenade, the Lloyd (our most expensive) and the list goes on and on. It reminds me of when Al Bundy (Married With Children), who spent lots and lots of time in the bathroom, mailordered a "Jefferson" or some such toilet which was the top of the line. He was in hog heaven. I miss that show.

Speaking of toilets, I bought Melinda one for her birthday last year. It was by a manufacturer, St. Thomas, and was called the "Celebration." I'm not sure if one could chacterize the bathroom experience as a "celebration", but whatever she is happy. Also, St. Thomas refers its toilets as "water closets." I do prefer that -- it sounds so British.

Laurette is probably going to chastize me for what I have written here, but what the h... I had to write something.